Godber Plays: 2: Teechers; Happy Jack; September in the Rain; Salt (Contemporary Dramatists) by John Godber

Author:John Godber [Godber, John]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
Published: 2013-06-06T00:00:00+00:00

Act Two

Ken Dodd records have been played throughout the interval. The lights dim and the music fades. Liz is sitting on two chairs. She has a raincoat on and her hair is soaked through. A dim blue spotlight picks her out, as does a dim light overhead.

Liz ‘When I was a young man courting the girls …’ That’s what Jack’d sing when we fell out.

‘I played me a waiting game.

If a maid refused me with tossing curls,

I’d let the old earth take a couple of whirls.

Then I’d ply her with tears in place of pearls.’

Not this time, Jack.

‘And as time went along she came my way

As time went along she came …’

‘And it’s a long long time from May to December,

And the years grow short when you reach September.’

I must have walked for miles. All the way up north … It was still throwing it down. I was soaked. I’d had enough, what with one thing and another. I really wasn’t bothered if I never saw him again. I knew it would only get worse and it did from time to time. I looked at the sea. It was cold and grey, the tide was in, the wind had got up, and the waves were coming over on to the prom … I’d marvelled at that before. Now I wanted to die … everything was grey, nothing had any colour … he always takes … he gives nothing … That’s what I was thinking.

Jack enters. He too is soaking wet and is wearing a raincoat. He has obviously been walking for ages. He sits at the side of Liz, but she ignores him – he is not there. Silence for many a moment.

Jack Hey up. Are we talking, Liz? I’ve been looking all over for you. Every shelter ont front. I thought you might have gone to t’ Fun House. I’ve been in there looking for you. Look, Liz. Aren’t you talking or what?

Liz Nowt to seh.

Jack You are talking, then.

Liz It’s over, Jack.

Jack It shite over.

Liz And you can stop swearing.

Jack What’re you doing up here?

Liz I’m sat.

Jack I know that.

Liz I wish I wa’ dead, Jack.

Jack Tha dun’t.

Liz I’m wet through.

Jack That’s right.

Liz Am I?

Jack Look at bloody weather, eh?

Liz Ar.

Jack You wouldn’t’ve thought it, would you? I’ll lose my tan.

Liz What tan?

Jack I’m not bothered about t’ rain, is tha?

Liz Have you been looking for me?

Jack Ar.

Liz All this time?

Jack I went to see if I could get some tickets.

Liz What for?

Jack A show or sommat.

Liz Oh, yeh?

Jack I thought I’d treat yer.

Liz Did you get any?

Jack I got these for t’ Student Prince in t’ Winter Gardens.

Liz I’ve seen Student Prince, Jack.

Jack I have but I know tha likes it.

Liz It’s thee that bloody likes it, Jack.

Jack Tha likes it an’ all, dun’t tha?

Liz ’S all right.

Jack Come on, we’ll get a tram back to t’ Beverley, get dried off a bit.

They begin to take off their wet clothes.

It rained and rained, by the time we’d got dried off and went up to the Winter Gardens we were as damp again.

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