Girl Made of Glass by Shelby Leigh

Author:Shelby Leigh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Central Avenue Publishing
Published: 2023-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

missing you is a funny thing.

sometimes i feel relieved

that you no longer

linger in my body.

and sometimes i feel saddened

that you no longer

take up space in my mind.

i am nostalgic for the days

when you lived there happily.

the wrong love can shatter you.

the wrong love can chisel you down

into remnants of the person you were

before they ever

put their

hands on you.

the right love will help you rebuild.

the right love will help you search

for the missing pieces.

and when they find one—

a piece of you that

you’d tucked away to keep from

getting hurt again—

they’ll place it in your palm,

wrap their fingers around yours.

they’ll say,

keep it with you until you’re ready.

we can learn a lot

from the love story of

the sun and the moon.

trading places day and night,

allowing the other to rest,

only seeing each other

for brief moments each day.

but the moon watches

the sun light up the sky,

and the sun watches

the moon control the tides,

and they are happy

because the other is

doing what they love.

life after you was freeing,

although that hurts to admit.

i was giving you all of me,

every ounce of my love,

and not getting a drop

in return.

i don’t blame you for that—

for taking up the space that you did.

but when you were taking up all

of my space,

i was caged in a corner.

trapped in a mirror.

when i wasn’t giving you

everything i had,

i prayed you would notice

me—

the way i grew

smaller and smaller to make room

for you.

i do not have smooth edges.

not on my body, face, mind.

i am made of sharp sides,

of chewed nails and picked skin.

my mind does not swim in gently flowing rivers—

it rages through riptides and dives below the dark.

it does not float through the wind like a petal,

no, it soars straight into the eye of a tornado,

spins sharply among the wreckage of its past.

my mind is not the smooth surface

of a carefully carved shell,

it is the rough edges of a cliff,

a step away from the fall.

there are no white-sand beaches here,

no barefoot walking.

you will feel stone and glass on your heels

with every step.

these walls are not a home,

just a shelter

to keep me warm.

and his arms were not a home,

just parts of a boy

who fooled me into feeling safe.

this body is my home.

and i don’t always know

how to treat it that way,

but i’m trying.

i’ve never tasted poison, but i

imagine it tastes the way my

mouth felt after i said goodbye

to you.

i needed to let go

of you

so i could hold

on to me.

confessions: i sing in the shower and

dance when there’s no music playing

and i say things i don’t mean—

sometimes i regret it and

sometimes i don’t.

now and then i’m selfish and sometimes

my back breaks from all the giving and

i don’t know how to love myself

but i’m trying,

and i’m not that great at loving other people

but i’m trying.

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