Fine by Susan Downham

Author:Susan Downham [Downham, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Young Adult
Publisher: Whiskey Creek Press
Published: 2014-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Children, I was going to have children, which meant one thing.

I would have to move states, change my name and begin again.

Where no one knew my dumb stupid name or what I looked like ,or called me leso or whore or any of the other names they called me.

I would have a husband. Fuck it. Who would have me now? Who would want me?

No one, that I was sure of, I didn’t want me.

I was so sick of not being listened to, I was over it.

No more. I decided they were going to listen to me.

I picked up the red chalk, and then the green and then the yellow and I drew and sketched and coloured in and kept going until the chalk was so deeply pressed into my fingers and my hand began to cramp, and my head began to ache and my eyes were throbbing and everything came crashing down.

I fell on to the floor. Broken chalk in my hands and cried.

I don’t know how long I laid like that, a while I guess, because the Midget came back in and passed me some tissues.

I took them.

She didn’t seem to even look at the board. She didn’t even comment when I stood up and wiped it clean.

She had her back to me and was looking out to the darkening clouds.

“I think is going to rain this afternoon,” She said.

I walked over to the window, tossing my tissues in the bin on my way.

I was exhausted, and wanted to go home and sleep.

I stood there next to the Midget and looked at the clouds.

Was it an omen, a sign? I felt sure it was.

“Can I go now?’

“Of course, have a fantastic weekend, Hanna. I have some homework for you this week.”

I groaned.

“What is it?” I know I snapped.

I was over homework too.

“Simple task, I want you to write me a list of five good things about your school day. One from each day of the week, easy homework, what do you think?”

“I think it sucks.”

“It might suck, but that’s life.”

I stared at her.

That’s life? Fancy saying, ‘That’s life.’ What was the midget? I looked at her for a moment; she had to be about seventy at least.

I didn’t bother responding and headed straight out.

The weekend was no different that every other weekend.

Gregory was not home at all on that Friday night; he was at Stephanie’s house.

Stephanie was a year younger than Gregory, tall, very pretty, until she turned around.

OMG, she had the biggest arse anyone had ever seen.

Well, at least I think so.

I told him he should sing her that song about fat-bottomed girls. I thought I was really funny.

He told me what the song for me was.

I knew the song; it was a song about a skanky girl.

I threw my school shoe at him. It missed his head and slammed into the wall.

I heard my mother yell and ran to my bedroom.

I heard them arguing about me. I heard my mother defending me. Even I wasn’t convinced.

The bed offered me the only comfort I was likely to get.

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