F*cked at 40 by Tova Leigh

Author:Tova Leigh
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
ISBN: 9781786783752
Publisher: Watkins Media
Published: 2020-03-02T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER EIGHT

TILL DEATH DO US PART

I think my marriage improved the day I told my husband I wanted to fuck a 20-year-old. Not the conversation you expect to be having over dinner on a Tuesday night, kids in bed. People often say how their partners are their best friends, but then keep so many secrets from them. One of my decisions after the whole mammogram scare was to be completely honest about how I felt, what I needed, what I wanted, and how unhappy I was. And as he listened, I fell in love with him all over again.

The anger I felt toward my husband in the years after becoming parents was something that took me by surprise. I was angry he got to go to work every day while I was stuck at home listening to “The Wheels on the Bus” on repeat. When he was home, everything he did annoyed me. Having spent more time with the kids, I had a way of doing things, and when he did them differently, I would freak out.

I was mad because I felt it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that I had to stop my life and put it all on hold while he got to just carry on like nothing had changed. He got to go to work and talk to adults, and there I was having to stop my two-year-old daughter from wiping her shit on the carpet because she couldn’t find any toilet paper. I walked in on her scooting along the corridor on my white carpets, butt-naked, and I nearly fainted. I screamed a defeated “Stop!”, because I knew I was too late to save that patch of rug which will forever be known in our house as The Poop Section. I also knew that the image of her looking back to check if she’d got it all off will be forever engrained in my mind. I had hit my rock bottom. There were no drugs, no fun alcoholic cocktails, no hiding an affair from my husband, just poo. Where was the Cosmo article about how to remove the smell of poo from your hands?

***

Our marriage was not “bad”. It was similar to many of our friends’ marriages after having a few kids, where you have conversations about rather dull subjects, and it feels like you know everything there is to know about each other. I was at a birthday party in town one day with my eldest. For some reason she didn’t want to eat the pizza they were serving and said in her most faint, I’m-about-to-collapse voice, “I’m starving.” This after she’d had popcorn, French fries and Fruit Loops all afternoon. I was going out straight after her party and she was getting a lift back home with a friend, so I messaged Mike to say that she hadn’t had dinner and that he should give her food when she gets home. I suggested “potato waffles” (aka hash browns). A few moments later Mike messaged me back saying there were no potato waffles.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.