Falling Up by Shel Silverstein

Author:Shel Silverstein [Silverstein, Shel]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Juvenile Nonfiction, Humor, Humorous, Poetry, General, Comic Strips & Cartoons
ISBN: 9780060248024
Google: zxhqQgAACAAJ
Amazon: 0060248025
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 1996-04-25T05:00:00+00:00

door, but the rest of the structure is rubble behind him.]

HUNGRY KID ISLAND

Oh, I'm goin' to Hungry Kid Island,

Way out in the shimmerin' sea.

There's probably hungry kids out there

Who'll share my lunch with me.

But why call it Hungry Kid Island?

There's no kids around that I see,

So I'm goin' to Hungry Kid Island

To solve this mystery.

[Drawing: A person rows a rowboat (facing the wrong way; if he's going to

the island, he should be facing away from it, but he's not) towards a

small, hemispherical island with trees and bushes; under the water (which

is a dark shade) is the outline of a child whose head forms the island,

looking chubby and licking his chops]

STORK STORY

[Drawing: stork carries off old person in sling]

You know the stork brings babies,

106

But did you also know

He comes and gets the older folks

When it's their time to go?

Zooms right down and scoops them up,

Then flaps back out the door

And flies them to the factory where

They all were made before.

And there their skin is tightened up,

Their muscles all are toned,

Their wrinkles all are ironed out,

They're given brand-new bones.

Ol' bent backs are straightened up,

New teeth are added too,

Tired hearts are all repaired

And made to work like new.

Their memories are all removed

And they're shrunk down, and then

The stork flies them back down to earth

As newborn babes again.

CRAZY DREAM

107

Last night I had a crazy dream

That I was teachin' school.

My teachers had turned into kids,

And I laid down the rules.

I gave 'em a hundred hist'ry books

To memorize each night,

And made 'em read 'em on their heads

Without turnin' on the light.

I sent 'em on a field trip

To the outskirts of Mongolia,

And gave 'em an overnight assignment

To grow a twenty-foot purple magnolia.

I asked 'em how many awful grades

Can cause how many tears?

And if they got one answer wrong,

I just hung 'em up by their ears.

And when they talked or laughed in class,

I pinched 'em 'til they cried

Louder and louder -- 'til I woke up

Feelin' very satisfied.

108

[Drawing: child stands at blackboard with pointer; two teachers, one male,

one female, hang by their ears from a rope. A large stack of books is

labelled "Memorize by tomorrow!" and a clock lies broken on the floor. Not

all of the blackboard can be read, but what can says: How deep is the

Ocean?; 641,001^2 into 6,345,596,734.19?; Why Did George Cherry Cut down

the Washington Tree?; What is the name of the next president of the United

States?"; 6x=?; Why is a dinosaur?; What came first, the egg or the

chicken?; What is the capital of Magozenopia?; How much does a big elephant

weigh?; What are the middle names of every soldier in the civil war?; Where

are my mittens?; 142 - 143 = ?; If you had seven apples and you gave me

three, how many teeth would a canary have?; 11^2 x 72^3 - 14 = ?; so what?;

Who invented the Roobiskanker?; Translate the dictionary into Pig Latin?;

How much does a *small* elephant weigh?; List 1001 ways a *measle* is

different than a *weasle*.; What happened in 1723 in the *afternoon*?;

Coagulate the verb *EECH*.; ...if you recite the alphabet backwards...in

French...skipping every other letter.

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