Falling Back in Love with Being Human by Kai Cheng Thom

Author:Kai Cheng Thom [Thom, Kai Cheng]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2023-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

Give yourself one full night of self-pleasure. Define self-pleasure however you like.

to the johns

this is for the Jasons, the Daves, the Matthews, the Johns. the Peters, the Pauls, the Andrews, the Toms. why so many of you insist on pseudonyming yourselves after apostles is a delicious mystery i’ll never fully understand. you’re no saints, that’s for sure. not when you haggled and scoffed and turned up your noses at an honest whore’s rates, not when you made three-hour appointments and then never showed up. not when you demanded more bang for your buck, left shitty reviews deriding a woman’s body on the hobbyist forums—no, you certainly weren’t holy men then. not when you robbed us. not when you raped us. not when you got “just a little” too attached and stalked us for days, sent us pleading emails from a hundred fake addresses. no, sir, there was certainly nothing sanctified about that.

and yet.

most of you are courteous, and many of you are kind. so many of you are gentle, and generous, and full of the desire to give. full of longing to receive as well, and terrified at the prospect. all of you, beneath the surface, terrified and tender, and in that frightened tenderness, yes, full of grace. dear John, dear Jason, dear Matthew, dear Paul. i thought i knew about men before i became a whore. i knew stalking, i knew violence, i knew abandonment, i knew rape. i thought i might as well get paid for it. here’s what i didn’t know: that i could get paid to be treated like my attention was important. that an hour of my time was worth three hundred dollars or more. that my beauty, my body, my intelligence, my humor, my hands, could open one of you up and make you human again.

dear Jason, you were a twenty-eight-year-old banker who just wanted to spend some time with a woman who loved your soft cock. dear Bartholomew, you were a forty-five-year-old writer struggling with loneliness and alcoholism, and you spent most of our time talking, with clothes on. dear Peter, you were a seventy-two-year-old retiree on a fixed income who still, somehow, found six hundred dollars to spend on me in one weekend, and the first thing you wanted to do was slow dance. dear Thomas, you were a sixty-seven-year-old former farmer struggling with his young son’s addiction issues, and you brought me cherry tomatoes from your garden. dear Simon, you were an aspiring journalist who brought me a different gift every time; i still keep the black candle on a table by my bed. dear Philip, you ran away the first time i opened the door, only to come back sheepishly an hour later. dear Matthew, i’m sorry i couldn’t replace your wife. dear Andrew, you gave me a one-thousand-dollar tip so i’d spend the night with you one week before your wedding; i hope that, somehow, you are happy. dear James, you were my first-ever clergyman, and i am so, so honored that you chose me to sin with.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.