Escape from Planet Bogey by Gareth P. Jones

Author:Gareth P. Jones
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781847158741
Publisher: Stripes Publishing

The stewards divided the remaining six players into two teams of three. Biskit, Mitzy and three-headed Ted stood on one side of the arena while Dama Plum-ladle, Seema and the Skumunky waited on the other.

Hang addressed the crowd. “Snatchers and Snotters, let’s remind ourselves who’s left. We have the Wibble-drobbler and the Tri-headed Affle-waffler from the planet Holden.”

The crowd cheered for three-headed Ted and Seema.

“The Skumunky from the planet Galvin, the Long-necked Hoofler from the planet Not-Nwod…”

“It’s Not-Nward actually,” proclaimed Dama Plum-ladle.

“And last but not least, our pair from Earth, the cat….”

The biggest cheer yet went up.

“And the… What is that again? A koala?”

“No, I think it’s some kind of burrowing creature,” said Sloop.

“I just wish they’d get it into their stupid noses that I’m a dog,” said Biskit.

The stewards were busy setting up the next round, which appeared to involve three long thin poles running from one side of the arena to the other, a couple of metres off the ground.

“Maybe it’s some kind of assault course,” said Biskit. “I hope so. I’m great at assault courses.”

“Always so modest,” said Mitzy with a wink.

A Snot Snatcher trumpeted his nose to get the crowd’s attention, then Hang continued. “And so to Round Two, The Walk of Fear. Once again, the rules couldn’t be simpler. Each contestant must make it to the other side of the pole without touching the ground.”

“But hang on, Hang,” said Sloop. “There are six contestants but only three poles.”

“That’s right, Sloop. Each player will have to pass another to reach the end. If they can pass each other without falling, both go through to the next round but if they both fall, they’re both out. Now, players, take your places!”

Biskit jumped up on to the pole and saw Dama Plum-ladle at the other end. Mitzy hopped on to a pole with Seema at the other, while three-headed Ted faced the Skumunky.

“Oh, great,” said Ted’s first head. “We get Mister Smelly.”

“It’s revolting,” said his second head.

“I think it can hear us,” said Ted’s third head.

The starting toot sounded and the six players began to edge forwards. Biskit took a couple of cautious steps, only to discover that the pole was covered in a thin layer of slime. As all the players fought to keep their balance, the audience rocked with laughter and hooted hysterically.

Under normal circumstances, Mitzy would have reached the other end of the pole in a flash but Seema was so wobbly that the pole rocked dangerously.

“Look at them go,” said Hang. “What great players.”

“And a fantastic audience,” said Sloop. “Maybe it’s time to give them something to do.”

“Good idea,” said Hang. “Snotters and Snatchers, please PICK YOUR BOGEYS.”

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” muttered Mitzy under her breath. She was moving steadily but carefully towards Seema, who was slowly shifting along the pole towards her.

“Yes, folks, everyone in the audience has been given one Cosmic Snot Ball,” said Hang. “Each bogey is charged with Cosmic Terror-snot.”

“Maybe you could explain that for the viewers at home,” said Sloop.

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