Dream, Believe, Succeed by Camilla Sacre-Dallerup

Author:Camilla Sacre-Dallerup
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781786784513
Publisher: Watkins Media
Published: 2020-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

The show must go on

15 May, 2004. A date I will never forget. The first night of the show. I’ve been putting off writing this part of the book for a very long time. It’s difficult to put down on paper (well, a computer screen) what was to become the hardest time of my life. Having to remember what happened next will be an emotional journey of the toughest kind.

I know no one died, but I was about to hit rock bottom, have my heart broken and see my world turn upside down and inside out in the tap of a tango dancer’s heel. And it was all going to happen in the glare of publicity. It was embarrassing. It was hurtful. And it came out of nowhere.

I know I’m not alone. I’m sure most of you will have been there at some point in your life. Heartache, grief or trauma of any kind all bring with them the same emotions – anger, sadness, hurt, guilt and fear.

You may agree with me then that the only positive thing when you hit rock bottom is that there’s only one way to go. Up!

So, I’m sitting here thinking, ‘Where do I begin? How do I tell this part of my story? How do I make you understand all my pain, while at the same time letting you know that everything will be OK in the end?’ So … 15 May, 2004. The first night of the show – the show I had pushed so hard to be on and had been so excited about from the outset. It should have been so special, so exhilarating. Instead, it was a night full of sadness as I watched my fiancé slip even further away from me.

The only positive thing when you hit rock bottom is that there’s only one way to go. Up!

A few days earlier he’d surprised me by saying that he didn’t want to share a changing room with me at the television studios. We’d always shared everything before, so why not now? Why was he suddenly making an issue of something that up till then I’d taken for granted? If proof were needed that things had changed between us, I had it.

Without discussing it with me, he simply said he’d prefer to be on his own while he was preparing for the show. Now, if he’d said this eight years earlier when our lives were not so intertwined and I was still very independent, it wouldn’t have been a problem. But normally he’d been the one pushing to spend every moment together, so for him to say out of the blue that he wanted to be alone was completely out of character and a total shock for me. It fuelled my suspicion that his mind was on something other than us.

If I was hurt then, I was even more hurt on the first night of the show. We were about to go live. Everyone was dressed in the stunning gowns and suits that specialist dress designers had made for us.

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