Dr. Slick: A Killer Comedy by Dan Ames & Dani Amore

Author:Dan Ames & Dani Amore [Ames, Dan]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2014-06-06T04:00:00+00:00

Tom sits at the conference table along with a few other people. Morgan is up front.

“We are fucked! Fucked! Fucked!”

Morgan looks around.

“Where in the goddamn hell is Kelly?”

Morgan presses the intercom at the center of the table.

“Goddamnit, Vicki, I said I wanted everyone! Where the fuck is Kelly?”

He presses the disconnect button, not waiting for a reply.

“Morgan. What happened?” Tom says.

“The President of American Oil called. Everything’s dead. He killed the entire campaign!”

“Why?” one of the other creative asks. “I thought he loved it. That’s what he said in the last meeting.”

“He’s lost his fucking mind, that’s why!” Wolcott explodes. “He gave me some insane lecture on the foundation of good drama. Conflict. What an asshole!”

“What type of conflict?” another creative asks.

“Some bullshit about a recurring theme. Or a character or something.”

Suddenly the door opens and Kelly walks in. She’s got a piece of paper in her hand.

“Kelly,” Morgan says, his face awash with relief. “Thank God.”

Kelly ignores him. Tom notices that there is something different about her. She’s flushed. Her eyes look a little wild. She pulls out a chair, but instead of sitting down, she steps onto it, then steps onto the conference table. She raises her hands over her head and starts doing a bump-and-grind.

“Kelly? What are you doing?” Wolcott asks.

Kelly keeps dancing.

“Kelly, goddamnit! Get off the fucking table, we’ve got work to do!” Wolcott barks at her.

Kelly dances down toward the end of the table where Morgan is. As she gets closer, she turns around so she’s going backwards toward him. As she gets close, she bends over slightly so her ass is in front of Morgan’s face.

“Kiss it, kiss it kiss it. Kiss the ass!”

She holds the paper in front of Morgan’s face. He snatches it out of her hand and reads it.

“One point two million for...”

Tom realizes what’s happening.

“Your novel! You sold your novel!” he exclaims.

He jumps up and hugs Kelly.

Kelly hops off the table, grabs the paper back from Morgan and runs out of the room, whooping.

“Buh-bye! Buh-bye! Buh-bye!”

Tom, Morgan and the rest of the group are stunned for a moment. Tom is still standing. Morgan snaps out of it.

“Sit down, Goddard.” Wolcott snaps at Tom.

“What in the hell is going on today?” He shakes his head. “Look, we need a new campaign. One that has conflict, some kind of recurring character or theme.”

“I’ve got it,” Tom says quietly.

Morgan rolls his eyes.

“Why don’t you take a few minutes before you solve it, Tom. You might actually want to work through a few stupid ideas, before you hit the gold mine, okay?”

“No, I’ve got it. Or, I mean, I had it.”

“Had what?”

“The perfect idea.”

Morgan waits, skeptical.

“Dr. Slick.”

The room goes silent. Tom folds his arms across his chest, beaming.

Morgan starts to say something caustic, but then stops himself. He looks at Tom in a whole new light.

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