Down to the Wire by Andy McNab
Author:Andy McNab
Language: eng
Format: mobi, azw3, epub
Tags: Action, Suspense, Thriller, Fiction
ISBN: 9781473543621
Publisher: Penguin Random House UK
Published: 2022-09-22T00:00:00+00:00
42
âNick, would you like to come along to a mindfulness meditation this evening? It really helps us to focus on the here and now, to stop that constant noise in our minds that niggles away at us. Iâm sure you know the one â itâs that noise we all try to repress, sometimes suppress, but at the same time we all know it just makes the noise worse. What we learn in the village is to welcome the noise with a smile.â She did, and raised an index finger to match. âAh, there you are again. And when we greet it with a smile, a very, very curious thing happens, Nick. The noise goes away, and we live in the present. And you know what?â
Not really. I was still getting my head around it.
âThereâs tea afterwards and you will get to meet even more of our wonderful people.â
âOkay, Iâm in.â In for what, I wasnât sure. Smiling at noise?
We agreed to meet at the gym at eight thirty for her to introduce me round, but she was soon back to business. âHow does your condition make you feel in this very moment, Nick? Here, remember, that is all that matters.â She sat back and clearly it was my turn to expand.
I knew I didnât have to, but I wanted to. I wanted to get back to telling the truth. âI donât think about it all that much, really. Itâs not avoidance or denial, I just accept it.â Iâd never thought I was close to saying that, but I was now. I wanted her to know that I wasnât lying. âDying doesnât matter. I wonât know Iâm dead because Iâll be dead. Thatâs it, the end. I donât think thereâs a heaven or reincarnation. Once youâre dead, youâre dead. But itâs the way of getting dead thatâs my concern. That make sense?â
She didnât have to think about an answer. Maybe I wasnât as unique in my thoughts as I kidded myself I was. But I was frustrated: I couldnât and wouldnât tell her that most of my concern was that I had put two friendsâ lives at even more risk than was necessary, and promised them it would never happen again. Yet still they wanted to operate with me. At least I hadnât lied. I just hadnât told.
âTotally. I get it â because that is what we believe. When you die, Nick, that is the end. Youâve been dying since you were born. But for us, you canât die until youâve done what God put you here to do â and that is to live. When you die, you need to know in your heart that you have lived rather than simply won or lost at life. Do you think you have lived, Nick?â
Fuck, she had me on that one. I sat back as if I was thinking about it, then realized I had always known the answer. âNo, I havenât.â
âWell, thatâs what you can do with us, Nick, in the village.
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