Don't Leave by Jennifer Sucevic

Author:Jennifer Sucevic
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, love, friendship, relationships, hockey, college, sports, failure, heartbreak, adult 18 and over
Publisher: Jennifer Sucevic

Chapter Eighteen

“Cass, I know you’re hurting. Trust me, I do. But you have to snap out of it.” Brooklyn shoots me a concerned glance as we continue walking before adding, “You’re beginning to scare me.”

Snap out of it.

If only I could…

If only it were that easy.

It feels like I’ve been sleep walking through a thick, dense fog for the past ten days. Other than breaking up with Cole, I don’t think I could tell you what else happened. And everything has suffered because of it.

I keep telling myself that I have to pull it together. Because there is no way I can fail out of school again. Especially now that I’m just starting to make progress with my parents. Meeting with them last week and having everything go smoothly was the only bright spot in an otherwise crap week.

Well, a crap ten days, to be exact.

If I’d held out even a tiny scrap of hope that this whole thing with Cole was just going to blow over, that hope has been fully extinguished. I’ve barely seen him. There hasn’t been one single text or call exchanged between us. He’s pretty much disappeared from my life as if he were never really a part of it. And even though we still have psychology 201 together every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he now slides into the back of the lecture hall next to his cousin, Sammy.

“I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

That’s my new mantra.

But I don’t think it’s working. Otherwise I wouldn’t be such a mess.

It’s all I can do to hoist the corners of my mouth into something that hopefully resembles an anemic looking smile. For the past week and a half all I’ve been doing is going through the motions. It’s just easier that way. I’d like to think that I’m getting pretty good at it.

Or not…

With almost a year of therapy under my belt, I’ve learned how important it is to talk about your feelings, generate a plan, and face your problems head on. Well… I now remember how much easier it is to curl up into a tight ball in the corner and ignore the pain that all but throbs through every single pore of your body.

Because everything hurts.

Everything feels tender.

Like an open sore that refuses to heal.

It’s as if I’m back to square one again in the healing process. Which sucks major ass, to be quite honest.

On the bright side, at least I’m not having anxiety issues. That’s about the best I can say at this point.

Brooklyn snorts as we continue down one of the cement walkways that wind themselves through the rolling hills of Western’s campus. Both Brooklyn and I are bundled up in thick winter jackets with our hats pulled low over our ears to protect them from the icy cold winds that blow through leafless trees and around squat stone buildings. To make matters worse, we had our first snowfall the other day which made everything feel even more depressing.

“Cassidy, you are so far from fine that it’s not even funny.

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