Dont Get Mad...Get Even by J. L. Campbell

Author:J. L. Campbell [Campbell, J. L.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Single Author, Two Hours or More (65-100 Pages), Single Authors, Short Stories, Literature & Fiction
Amazon: B005OMBH7Y
Published: 2011-09-20T04:00:00+00:00

The Last Laugh

SHE SLAPPED THE COVERED dish down on the rough table, unmindful of the soup spilling over the edge. The thin liquid formed a yellow pool that seeped into the unpolished wood.

From his position on the bed, Herman watched Carlene glare at him. Her nostrils opened wide at the strong odour of urine that hung in the air. He’d wet himself repeatedly the night before and during the early morning. It was a regular occurrence.

Herman looked forward to dying and leaving his present misery. Locked all day in the hot, weather-beaten cottage, he kept himself sane by recalling the pleasures of his misspent youth.

He often wondered where his children were. Three of them he knew and had not supported during his working years. He was aware of two others, but had never met them. He had left town when news reached him that their mother was on his trail with ideas that involved gasoline and tyres.

Herman was convinced he was born without a conscience. He felt not a bit of regret at the treatment of his offspring. None of them had heart anyway. Only one had stepped forward when he’d heard about his father’s plight. Mr. High-and-Mighty, as Herman thought of him, had visited once out of curiosity and never been heard from again.

Herman Marshall had fallen a long way from his roots. Born in a small, rustic village in Westmoreland, he barely waited for his sixteenth birthday to bid his hometown farewell. He lived a shiftless life, working only when necessary and moving from one end of the island to the other.

His irresponsible nature would puzzle him all his life. He came from good country stock, his parents were hard-working farmers who took care of their children; but Herman was different from his three brothers and two sisters. He made irresponsible behaviour an art form. The irony was that he’d heard all his children had turned into responsible adults. He was sure they didn’t get that from him.

A rough shake dragged Herman from his thoughts. Carlene, his care-taker, was urging him to get up. His 87-year-old bones rebelled at the jarring motion. He raised himself to a sitting position as slowly as he could, knowing it was maddening to her. She stood, arms folded, gritting her teeth in frustration. Herman cackled under his breath.

He knew he made a horrible sight with his brown gums on display and tufts of hair shooting all over the place. Carlene frowned and grabbed his arm. “Ol’ man, you t’ink I have all day?”

Herman muttered and leaned forward on the edge of the bed. Carlene grabbed the hem of his once white undershirt, now an ugly grey, and yanked it, jerking his body forward.

“Put up yuh hands!” she raised the merino that was dotted with holes.

Herman obliged her, but waited until his head came out of the wide neck opening to hack in her face. He got her good. She was short, so her face was slightly above his head. A jet of

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