Deviced! by Dodgen-Magee Doreen

Author:Dodgen-Magee, Doreen [Dodgen-Magee, Doreen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers
Published: 2018-10-07T16:00:00+00:00

HOW THE GAZE HELPS WITH DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF

As noted in the “Technology and Relationships” chapter, prior to the invention of the printing press, average people saw approximately five hundred faces in their lifetime. This reality naturally limited humanity’s exposure to differences and relationship potential. The fact that we can now not only see but also interact with an unlimited number of people has many implications for the development of the self. Most obviously, the increased access to an eternally wide range of people means a greater number of opportunities for growth and learning. This is profound. Having the ability to encounter people who can expose us to ideas, experiences, and opportunities we would not otherwise have is an amazing gift. The difficulty enters when we access this limitless pool of people more consistently or with more dedication than we access either embodied individuals who have proven themselves trustworthy and reliable or even our own mind and heart. Furthermore, the fact that the history of our online activities determines much of what we are guided to online means that if we are not careful, we end up using what could be a great resource for stretching ourselves as a never-ending loop of the same content. With the same-old, same-old coming before us over and over and over, we risk stalling our own development. With access to never-ending sources of influence, we risk forgoing the crucial role that consistent, good-enough others play in the development of our selves.

We must take seriously that we are, at some level, shaped by that which we gaze upon. In our earlier discussion of human development, I wrote of the caregiver discerning the needs of the child and working to meet those needs in specific and relevant ways. This process is facilitated in many ways. Gazing, or making intentional and responsive eye contact as a form of communication, is an especially powerful and essential action that caregivers take in helping children learn to know and care for themselves. To gaze at someone is not simply to look at them but instead to use the eyes to communicate a sense of both wonder and knowing. We all know, or can imagine, what it feels like to be held in a loving gaze or, conversely, in a shaming one. In the act of gazing, both the see-er and the seen are impacted. When caregivers reach past their own biases and preferences and gaze into the experience of the child for whom they are caring, important neurological and psychological processes are initiated.

If the gaze of one person to another has the power of initiating neural integration and emotional regulation, how can we say that the images we gaze at on the screens that live so closely with us do not matter? I don’t believe we can. With as many opportunities as we have to gaze at a never-ending stream of highly manipulated and targeted-to-our-preferences images, it takes discipline that many of us do not have to live from a

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