Code Name Bananas by David Walliams

Author:David Walliams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

So, over cocoa and fruit-and-nut cake (which was mostly wolfed down by the animals), Sid and Eric started to put together the latest part of their mission, CODE NAME BANANAS. It was now nearly midnight, and the police could come knocking at any moment. It was decided that they should depart at dawn for the seaside with Gertrude, leaving the parrot, the baby elephant, the seal, the flamingo, the crocodile, the giant tortoise and, of course, the enormously bottomed baboon to stay with Bessie next door.

The problem was how were Sid and Eric going to get Gertrude to the seaside? From London, Bognor Regis was a good fifty miles or so away. Sid didn’t own a car. Neither did Bessie. Nor, of course, did Eric. Or Gertrude, for that matter. Gorillas just can’t get the insurance.

It was far too far to walk, especially if you had old tin legs like Sid. So a train seemed like the best option. But how could they smuggle a gorilla on to a train without everyone noticing?

In the corner of the kitchen, Eric spotted a battered old wheelchair.

“Maybe we can use that?” he exclaimed.

“For me?” asked Sid.

“No, for Gertrude!”

“The hospital gave that wheelchair to me after the war. The nurses said I should use it if I ever needed to take the weight off these tin legs of mine!”

“We could push Gertrude in it!”

“But everyone would still be able to see she is a gorilla!”

“Then we need to disguise her!”

“As what? An orang-utan?”

“NO!” said Eric. “That would be plain silly.”

“Nobody will be looking for an escaped orang-utan,” reasoned Sid. “All we’d need to do is smother her in marmalade! Then she’d be all orange!”

Gertrude pulled a sour face. She didn’t like that idea one bit!

“NOOO!” exclaimed Eric.

“All right, all right, there’s no need to shout.”

“No need to shout!” repeated Parker the parrot.

“We need to disguise Gertrude as a person!” stated Eric.

They both turned to look at the gorilla, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, demolishing the fruit-and-nut cake Bessie had brought round.

CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!

Gertrude then rose to her feet and pattered around the room on all fours, scratching her bottom as she hunted for crumbs.

“How on earth are we going to do that?” asked Sid.

“We need to dress her up!”

“We can dress her up as much as we like! But what about that face of hers? Beautiful though it is, it’s a bit of a giveaway! It’s very gorilla-ish!”

“You’re right,” mused the boy. “Maybe she could wear a gas mask?”

“I don’t think she’s going to like that!”

“It’s worth a try!”

Everyone in Britain had been issued with a gas mask because of the fear of a poison-gas attack by the Nazis. So Eric picked up Sid’s from the kitchen table and tried to fit it over Gertrude’s face.

Unsurprisingly, the gorilla yelped: “EEEEHHH!” and immediately yanked off the mask and hurled it across the room. Luckily, Parker the parrot ducked just in time.

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