BullyProof by Rob Fazio PhD

Author:Rob Fazio, PhD [Rob Fazio, PhD]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2022-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

What If the Bomb Goes Off?

As we learned from EOD team leader Jonny Walker, the more prepared we are, the less likely it is for a bomb to go off. But when interacting with alphas, even if we prepare as much as possible and put ourselves in the best position possible, there will be times when the bomb goes off and the alpha has an outburst.

If the bomb goes off, it is critical that you stay true to Subtle Strength.

Hit the pause button. Return to the depersonalization process. Remember, this person’s reaction isn’t about you.

Resist the bully bubble. When an alpha is triggered, they are also very good at triggering others. They can create what feels like a “bully bubble,” where you get trapped in their reality and isolated from others. You feel stuck, you feel embarrassed, and you’re convinced everyone’s looking at you. Before you know it, it seems you have no choice but to do what the bully wants or to end the situation by any means necessary.

Submission (avoidance) or dominance (attack mode) opens the door to the bully bubble. Once you are in it’s tough to get out, so don’t go in. Remind yourself that the bully is behaving this way because of their unmet needs, insecurities, thinking errors, or damaged past. This in no way excuses the behavior, but your awareness can prevent you from getting pulled into the bully’s bubble.

Focus on the big picture of what you want. Is challenging the bully worth it? You may decide it’s not worth it, and your best choice is to walk away. If it is worth it, focus on communicating with calm confidence that demonstrates both respect and backbone.

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