Brothers on Three by Abe Streep

Author:Abe Streep
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Celadon Books

18

If It Could Just Be This

February 2018

The season came down to three weekend tournaments: districts (at Salish Kootenai College), divisionals (at Hamilton, in the Bitterroot Valley), and state, in Butte. The week before districts began, the temperatures fell, with lows near zero. On Tuesday, February 13, Zanen arrived at practice with a frozen carcass of a cow under a hay bale on the bed of his Chevy. “You see her on the truck?” he asked cheerily. He focused on the positive—the return of frigid weather, he noted, had ended Phil’s horn hunting. He also seemed invigorated by the impending playoffs, and started to hint that maybe he wouldn’t depart following the season after all. “I’m not gonna fight for my job.” But, he added, “It’s my program.”

Kendra was also at practice. I asked what she wanted. She said, “I was thinking back on how long he’s been coaching.” She remembered the moment, years earlier, when someone informed her that Phil, then in middle school, had briefly quit a team after getting kicked in the crotch. “I thought, ‘Oh great!’” She laughed. She loved Phil. She loved Will. She loved Lane Schall. She loved Billy Fisher—her favorite player. To her, basketball was family and community. But, she said, “We’re getting burned out. Outside this gym, the boys and Zanen, it’s politics.” She sighed. “If it could just be this all the time.”

On Wednesday, news circulated that a pack of wolves had treed a teenager in the area. That afternoon, at practice, Zanen expounded upon his decision. He was thinking about some of the new players: Nate, Tapit, Trey Malatare, and Shadenn Stone, a junior. “Maybe they need me.” He paused. “And I need them. Every one of us is connected.” He said, “Phil’s dad lived with my parents. Schall’s my cousin. Shadenn’s my wife’s cousin. Lane”—Johnson—“is like a fifth cousin. Cody’s dad played with my brother.” He remembered when Chasity was pregnant with Will. Zanen had met Greg later, but the point guard now considered his coach like family. Greg had recently aced an exam, raising his grades at the last minute, as was his habit. He’d also put on weight and seemed happier now that he and Tomi were steadily dating. He said he would consider staying in Arlee if Zanen did. “If Zanen’s strong enough to stay through everything he’s been through,” Greg said, “then I feel like I should probably stay, too.”

But all that was moot if the team didn’t win. “If I don’t win,” Zanen said, “I’m done.” One day he said it wasn’t about victory, but rather teaching life lessons; today, he needed a championship to keep his job. “Who wants a coach that loses? I’ve never been taught that losing was okay.” He elaborated: “If you don’t win, yes, they will fire you. But if you teach them principles like discipline, getting up on time, being here at time, and holding them accountable, and they’re talented, you’re doing two things. You’re teaching them. But you’re probably going to win.

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