Brilliant, Brilliant, Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant by Joel Golby

Author:Joel Golby
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Anchor
Published: 2019-03-05T00:00:00+00:00

I Have the Monopoly

None of us trust each other alone with the board. That is how this has happened. I will describe the scene: I am holding on to Sam’s leg. Sam was my friend before this started, but he isn’t now. He has lost both of his Adilette slides in the tussle. We are both lying on the floor in a position which, if it wasn’t for the aggressive energy in the hallway, could have been described as “pre-erotic.” We are twisted together so I am both on top of and below him. Sam is holding on to his upright girlfriend’s leg. Also going on: the plastic beaker I went to the kitchen for has bounced all the way down the stairs, and also Sam is biting me. Everyone is yelling. We have been playing for an hour now, barely out of diapers in the overall life of the game, but already we have all gone, collectively, insane. Kimeya needed to take her laundry out of the machine in the kitchen and didn’t trust us alone with the board in the lounge, so we both had to go with her. She and Sam both needed the bathroom, too, so we all had to go in shuttle runs, each watching over the door of the other while they pissed silently behind it, a complex and passive-aggressive urine-soaked retelling of the old fox-chicken-grain brainteaser. Sam, while pissing: “Joel, are you still there?” Kimeya, while pissing: “If you guys touch that board, SO HELP ME GOD.” To reiterate: Sam is biting me. His teeth are in my shoulder. I have him in a headlock while he slowly goes pink. Look at the clock. Look at us all, here on the gray-yellow carpet of their share flat in Clapton. Fifty minutes ago we started playing Monopoly. And look at us now, here. All our dignity gone and the only thing remaining is our hunger for the win.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.