Breaking Very Bad by Walter Knight

Author:Walter Knight [Knight, Walter]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penumbra Publishing
Published: 2015-03-11T04:00:00+00:00

* * * * *

I arranged for Legion psychiatrist Captain Priscilla Percy to investigate Private Pink’s mental stability. She helped me years ago, and I turned out just fine. Pink lawyered up, but he had no choice about talking to the shrink. I wanted options explored because there was no way I was going to hand over a legionnaire to the spiders. It would set a bad precedent. Today Pink, tomorrow it could be me.

“Please be at ease, private,” began Captain Percy. “Everything we discuss today will be held strictly confidential. I am here to help you deal with the emotional roller coaster that comes with being a combat-tested Hero of the Legion. Trust me, Jesse. I am on your side.”

“Are you punking me? Yo, I’m fine. I’m not telling you anything.”

“No, you are not fine. You’re a mess!”

“You’re tripping.”

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder builds among legionnaires experiencing a wide range of emotions during short burst of time. Let me help you achieve a satisfactory happy ending to this stressful chapter in your life. Tell me what’s troubling you.”

“I’m fine, but can I ask you some questions hypothetically?”

“No judgments. Everyone needs someone to talk to. The truth will set you free.”

“The truth will get me locked up.”

“Spill it, you little puss-filled zit!”

“Is killing an alien the same as killing humans?” asked Pink, getting to his emotional side. “Those bugs are sentient, right?”

“So, you did poison those spider marines?” pressed Captain Percy. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Spiders are like lice on the head of the galaxy.”

“So, it’s okay?”

“Sure. Kill as many as you want, as long as you don’t start a war. It’s the tourist season, you know.”

“Spiders talk just like us. They’re smart. Some even serve in the Legion. They love and have families.”

“You didn’t have sex with spiders, did you?”

“No way, but Badger had sex with a scorpion. I was scared, not nearly drunk enough.”

“That’s disgusting. He was no doubt contaminated by that pervert Czerinski’s influence. Wasn’t Badger the same legionnaire you saved from the dragon attack?”

“Yes. Badger is my best friend. I knew him from Albuquerque on Old Earth.”

“It’s Karma. Badger had sex with an alien, and bad things followed.”

“I might do a scorpion, if I was high enough, yo.”

“No! Only a degenerate would go over to that dark side. Do you want to go to Hell?”

“Whatever. I’ve already been told I’m going.”

“Your destiny is not set. You have free will.”

“I killed the hand of God, dissolved it in chemicals, and poured the syrup down a sewer drain,” explained Pink matter-of-factly. “I pretty much know I’m going to Hell for that one.”

“I see. Yes, you’re probably right. You are toast, you sacrilegious blasphemer.”

“Damn straight I’m right. When God finds out He’s going to be pissed. I’m good with it. People should pay for their sins.”

“Maybe God won’t find out.”

“The Grim Reaper will snitch me off when he gets out of rehab. I know it. That punk wouldn’t last a day in prison, yo.”

“Do you take prescription medication?”

“I self-medicate,” answered Pink uncomfortably.

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