Brave New You by Mary Poffenroth

Author:Mary Poffenroth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Published: 2024-10-08T00:00:00+00:00

How to Avoid Goodbyes

It began on a placid Tuesday night. After helping Momma Helen on her nightly slow shuffle down the short hallway and back, I turned in—exhausted—at 7:00 p.m. I had quickly learned that taking care of an aging parent is much like taking care of a baby: When they sleep, you sleep. Back then, my life was a game of survival.

That night, I awoke to my mother’s screams: “MARY! MARY!”

I’ve never been a gentle waker-upper. I’m the sort whose eyelids fly open at the hint of sound or light. I had so many recurring nightmares of my mom screaming my name they may have matched the actual number of nights she did it, so it took me a moment to grab hold of reality.

Unfortunately, this particular scream was not a dream—it was from just across the hallway. I barrel-rolled out of bed, my mind well behind my feet. It was not the first time I’d been awakened like this.

As I’d done many times before, I called the doctor on duty, who then called an ambulance. The medics rushed into our tiny living room and, with her pink cotton nightgown flapping against the gurney, rolled her away.

The ER doctor asked me to sit, then cleared his throat in the way people do before they’re about to change your life: “I think it’s time you make a decision. A decision . . .” he trailed off. “A decision on whether or not we should continue to do any drastic life-saving procedures or we should let her finally rest.”

All the anger and irritation at being inconvenienced with yet another middle-of-the-night trip to the ER washed away as I began to ask every question I knew to ask until he finally said, “Of course, it is your choice. But I think the kinder choice is to let her go.”

Having lost the ability to form more words in that moment, I nodded in assent, to which he replied, “I’ll just need your signature here.”

“Wait, what? I need to sign my mother’s death warrant like a credit card slip at the end of the night?”

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