Blunt Force Trauma by John Carson

Author:John Carson [Carson, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-12-14T16:00:00+00:00

EIGHTEEN

Harry yawned and drank more coffee from the paper cup until it was finished. The others were buzzing about the incident room. Last night, he and Elvis had talked and had a few nips before the younger detective had left with his wife-to-be. Now Harry was knackered and no amount of coffee seemed to be helping.

Calvin Stewart came belting into the room like he was trying to test the hinges on the door.

‘Almost five pounds for a fucking coffee! And I spilled some of the bastarding stuff.’

Charlie Skellett was right behind, and managed to dodge in before the door swung back and knocked his own coffee out of his hand. ‘You should be like me and bring your own coffee in,’ he said.

‘Your arse would squeak when you walked if you were any tighter,’ Stewart said. ‘That’s the last time I’ll give those robbing bastards any of my money,’ he said to the room in general.

‘You could always put some money in the coffee kitty,’ Lillian suggested with a smile.

‘We’ll have enough of that filth in here, young Lil. Senior officers don’t put money in the kitty. The younger officers are only too glad to support their boss. That’s how it used to be in my day.’

‘And mine,’ Skellett added, plonking himself down in his chair, rubbing at the knee brace under his trousers. ‘I need some new braces. This one’s sweatier than a Thai hoor’s jockstrap.’

‘Fuck’s sake, it’s only just gone eight thirty and you’re trying to give us the fucking boak,’ Stewart said. ‘And there was Elvis about to nash round to Waitrose for a box of doughnuts. Minging bastard.’ Stewart turned to Elvis. ‘Don’t let him put you off, son. Take a car. We don’t want you taking all day. Harry’s paying.’

‘I’m sorry, what?’ Harry said, having blanked out the conversation.

‘Don’t stand there all day daydreaming, Harry, son. Get your wallet out and pay the lad for the doughnuts.’

Harry had long since given up fighting this, so he took money out and passed it over to Elvis. The DC looked around the room, like he was waiting for orders.

‘Don’t just fucking standing there; the bastard things will be stale by the time you get there. And don’t buy any of that overpriced shite. Get the store brand. Harry’s not made of money.’

Elvis left.

Stewart looked over at Skellett, who had shoved a ruler up his trousers and was rubbing it up and down.

‘I hope you’re going to put that ruler on the bonfire next month,’ Stewart said. ‘That’s all it’s fit for now, fucking burning. Here’s a thought: have you ever tried walking without the brace on?’

‘My knee buckles. I could fall over. That’s why I have the stick. I’m surprised I haven’t got a rash by now –’

Stewart held up a hand. ‘Aye, aye, that’s enough, for God’s sake. We’ve not even had our doughnuts yet and you’re talking about scabs and plooks on your leg. You need to have a word with yourself, Charlie-boy. A time and place and all that.

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