Blamestorming: Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them by Rob Kendall

Author:Rob Kendall [Kendall, Rob]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Blamestorming: Why conversations go wrong and how to fix them
ISBN: 9781780286549
Publisher: Osprey Publishing Ltd
Published: 2014-09-17T22:00:00+00:00

As you know, we’ve gathered some feedback from your colleagues and there are a few areas that have come to light that I want to discuss.

Mia’s left feeling offended as well as unsure about where she stands in relation to her long-term future as a social worker, while her boss is surprised at her reaction to his comments and by her defensive demeanour.

[2] Ravi’s been working on an IT project for months. While he’s busy working on it late one evening, he gets an email that’s been written by the IT director, forwarded to him by a colleague:

Sorry. Got some issues related to the new release. Will need to pause the project. Hopefully back on track very soon.

This email comes out of the blue and Ravi only understands a fragment of the background to the decision. Without the wider context he ends up feeling totally disenfranchised. Another company has recently approached him with a job offer and he decides to talk to them.

[3] Diane is headteacher at the local primary school, and Beth’s boss. She has a 15-year-old son called Ben who moans that he’s constantly being nagged about his exam revision. She thinks he’s not doing enough work and is worried that he’s destined for academic failure. The pressure he feels to achieve academic success is heightened by the fact that his mother heads up a school. Every time the subject is mentioned, their conversation moves toward Escalation. This only makes the situation worse.

[4] Rather than writing separate replies to work emails, Diane tends to write comments alongside the messages she’s received. In order for her notes to stand out, she writes short answers in RED CAPITALS such as: YES, NO, NOT SURE – NEED TO TALK. Yui, who’s Japanese, is a member of Diane’s teaching staff. She finds Diane’s replies rude and feels as if Diane is shouting. For Diane it’s simply a time-saving device.

In each case, problems arise not so much due to the content, but because the conversation’s context hasn’t been established to enable both parties to share a mutual understanding.

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