Black White and Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self by Rebecca Walker

Author:Rebecca Walker [Walker, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781101647561
Publisher: Riverhead Books
Published: 2002-01-08T00:00:00+00:00

Lisa and me. It’s the end of sixth grade, summertime and I’m packing to go back east for the summer and the next two years. Lisa and I haven’t talked, really, about what my leaving means for our friendship, though she does say she’ll write me when I’m in New York and she’s sure I’m going to forget about her when I’m gone. When she says this I just shrug my shoulders. I’m leaving so much: my mother, my friends, my Trimline phone, my bookshelves that were built just for me, Double Rainbow ice cream, and Michael. Roller-skating with Lena in Golden Gate Park, the square, Papa, Ocean Beach. The bus system I’m just beginning to know like the back of my hand. My savings account at Hibernia Bank.

I’m leaving so much and I have no idea what I’m getting in return, only that moving is already the thing I’m used to, changing my face and tongue already feels like some alchemical reaction that happens when the seasons change, when it’s time for me to start a new school, or pack for summer, or pack to go to the other parent’s house. It’s a process of forgetting that happens, an erasure that starts gradually, as things are winding down, and picks up speed so that by the time I’m on the plane or bus I’ve forgotten almost all of what I’ve come from. I’m only in the present, driving up to the airport, waiting still on the escalator as it carries me closer to the gate. I’m an amnesiac because if I weren’t I’d be feeling all that loss, all that tearing away, and who wants to feel that?

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