Black in the Middle by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lightning Source Inc. (Tier 2)
Published: 2020-07-14T21:00:00+00:00

Aug 14th, 2017—“Baptism”

ZUGGIE TATE

I found religion in a midnight DM

Under a pseudonym

He saidcall me Daddy

And much akin to the Father

He built an alter on my lower back and knelt to pray

My toes curled

My eyes rolled to the back of my head And I

swore I saw the face of God

What curse did you put on me?

Oracle to heavenly bodies,

Slave to flesh

Eyes crossed into crucifix

I communicated in Moans

Convulsed,

Sang the cry of devotion

Felt the cold throb of deception

Felt the sting

Realized, you made me the sacrifice

To whom do I confess these midnights?

Address these tears?

Do I write this letter, stain each word with

shame? Send it to my mother? My father?

In the presence of ancestors who came before me

I rubbed my skin with ash, wore sackcloth, begged forgiveness It’s a

sin a follow false idols

Yet everyone wants to be worshiped

…want an adoration that hurts a little

My grandmother warned of men like you

Men who come like thieves in the night

He’d appear like an apparition

Fading in and out of time

I made my body his vessel To

tether him to this moment A

living sacrifice

Where did these chains come from? I

didn’t consent to bondage,

…To punishment

…To the gossip of prophetic storytellers

…To one-way conversations with piles of dead earth

…To the losing of my body, boundaries and self

My mother wept for her mistakes being born again in me The

giving of my body to fickle ghost, holy spirits

Who haunt doorways

Who vanish in sunlight

Who are powerful enough to move furniture

But are not powerful enough to stay

To whom do I confess these midnights?

Address these prayers?

To God? To this or that god? To

the Devil?

Each a hungry stomach waiting for an offering

[…]

I awake from the dream

With blood on my hands

For it was I who had been killing myself all along Me,

the willing sacrifice

But today, I’ll find a new religion

In loving myself, and licking my wounds

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