Bianca by Eugenia Leigh

Author:Eugenia Leigh [Leigh, Eugenia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781954245457
Publisher: Four Way Books

Off the Medication: New Year’s Eve 2019

I am raving

in this rain, this cloak

of coarse diamonds. Each drop

a door to the years that knocked me

dead. I am rich meat

in this rain. Insufferable. Crushed ice

in my fists, I am

parched. I beg Moses to call off

the plague of frogs

and when Moses asks when,

I am Pharaoh saying, Tomorrow.

God, I love the frogs.

God, make the plague stop.

My baby motions for a song

about speckled frogs,

and when I count the creatures

down to zero,

I don’t know how

to swim again, twenty-something

at the dawn of this decade, on a raft

slapping through the Nile where

I held on through the Bad Place

then shot out into a rapid called

the Other Place.

I am the names

they used to bind me.

Firecracker. Sore for sight eyes.

Worthless whore. Every word,

cogent in this storm.

Even the ones that wish me

dead. I am the biblical woman

who, bleeding, cleaves the crowd

to finger a fringe

as a way of asking for help.

I have trouble asking for help.

Everyone has trouble

asking what kind of bloody help

and I can’t stop screaming

the song that makes the frogs

bolt into a pool and croak.

I’ve taught my baby to sign for all done

and more.

God, I am done.

God,

I want more.

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