Beyond Anger Management: Master Your Anger as a Strategic Tool by Daube Edward

Author:Daube, Edward [Daube, Edward]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2016-04-16T04:00:00+00:00

a. anger, as a tool, is a primary emotion

b. not all men use it as a secondary emotion

c. men can learn to both appropriately acknowledge and express

other feelings such as embarrassment and anxiety

d. men can learn to master anger as a primary emotion.

The implications:

The problem with myth #3 is the implication that, for whatever reason, anger should be removed from one’s (you, women, or men) emotional tool bag. This is the same as saying that you should not use a knife because you might cut yourself.

Anger is a primary emotion that empowers you to take action to deal with a threat. To prevent yourself, a woman, or a man from using this tool is to disempower yourself and them. Women, specifically, experience this in work settings where they may be mislabeled for clearly and appropriately getting angry when someone intentionally, unintentionally, or inappropriately takes advantage of them.

While it is not possible to eliminate anger as it is a primary emotion, you can prevent yourself from expressing it. You can inhibit it, displace it, or suppress it. You can avoid confrontations or distract yourself. Or, you can deny that you are angry.

To do this is to surrender your power to the situation, another person’s view of what is appropriate for you, or your own concern about your behavior.

In addition, when you do not appropriately display your anger, you may deny another person the information they need to change their behavior. While this involves the interpersonal nature of anger, it is an often overlooked aspect, and benefit, of anger as a tool.

I am suggesting that, rather than disempower yourself when you are angry, focus your attention on taking responsibility for your anger and appropriately and assertively, given the setting, express that anger.

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