Believe, Ask, Act by MaryAnn DiMarco

Author:MaryAnn DiMarco
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rodale
Published: 2016-03-11T16:00:00+00:00

Your Turn

Though your Act steps are dictated by what you sense during Ask, I channeled an exercise that will help you remain accountable during your authentic pursuits. Spirit suggests that you make an Accountability Board that helps you commit to your feelings and the resolution you want.

To do this, draw a chart with four columns, and at the top, summarize the conflict you’re working on in one sentence or phrase. As an example, let’s use “Being a people-pleaser at work.” You can also post a visual next to this statement if you’d like—maybe a picture from a magazine that crystallizes the conflict, such as a desk or stop sign—although this isn’t necessary for the board to work. Then, in the first column, choose a word that encapsulates how the conflict makes you feel, and be specific. So if your boss asks you to stay late at the last minute when you have other plans, a word like insignificant or powerless is more precise than angry. In the second column, state a realistic emotional goal, which might be the opposite of how you’re feeling—here, respected or valued is apt. In the third row, identify where your feelings are stemming from. So with your boss, it might be “Childhood insecurities. If I don’t say ‘yes,’ then nobody will like me.” Finally, in the fourth row, admit your role in the debacle. In this case, “I do give in every time I’m asked to do something, so I’ve set a precedent that it’s okay.”

After you’ve created your Accountability Board, walk away from it for twenty-four hours, and consider how it reinforces or inspires you to change your current actions in a positive way. Reflect on how to correct this authenticity issue. In the pleaser example, you may want to have a conversation with your boss about how you are happy to stay late on occasion but would like to be asked in advance.

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