Ay Chihuahua by Tiffany Andrea

Author:Tiffany Andrea [Tiffany Andrea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Burden of Proofreading Publishing
Published: 2023-10-05T00:00:00+00:00

Leave It Behind

Dina

It’s hard to change habits that have been developed and held onto for nearly half a lifetime. My tendency to keep people at a distance has protected me from loving and losing, but I’m starting to wonder if losing out on love is worth the trade-off.

I love my sister. I love Hollis. That’s easy for me to say conclusively because I’d give my life for either of them. I’d step in front of a bullet. Give them the last parachute. Wrestle a mountain lion. Whatever it took to make sure they lived a long, happy life. Their life and happiness matter to me more than my own.

But sisterly love, which I feel for both of them, is much different than the terrifying feelings I’m having for Holden. It’s not obvious. Or maybe it is, and I just refuse to admit it. We’ve only known each other for just over three months. How is it possible that I would wrestle a mountain lion for him, too?

He left my condo five minutes ago and I’ve been spiralling ever since. Not in an out-of-control, losing-my-mind kind of way, but more of a rational this-is-too-much-too-fast kind of way. These feelings are too strong. I was supposed to hate him. Be annoyed by him. Keep him at a distance. Then I tried to be an adult and let him in and now look. I’m stuck with these big feelings that snuck up out of nowhere and consumed me.

These are the kinds of things girls should be able to talk to their mom about. Being robbed of my time with her makes this situation even scarier. She would have told me not to follow my heart because hearts are treacherous. Instead, use my head and my heart together. Don’t jump and look later because falling in love only hurts when there’s no one there to catch you. She’d tell me to be cautious, but not to lose out on a chance at happiness. And even knowing all of that, I still don’t know where it leaves me.

I pick up my phone to text my sister because she’s the closest thing to a mother figure I have, but before I can type out a carefully worded SOS message, another one comes through.

Dickens: I just realized something.

Dina: ?

Dickens: You promised when I rocked my exams, you’d tell me your middle name.

Dina: You didn’t officially pass yet.

Dickens: Don’t be like that. A promise is a promise, Dina ___ Blake.

As stupid as it seems, sharing my middle name seems intimate. Like that’s something private reserved for family… and government ID. But I want intimate moments with him. Silly nicknames, inside jokes, dreams and fears. I want to share it all.

Dina: You first.

Instead of texting back, my phone rings. I flop on the couch beside Nacho, trying not to disturb him, and swipe the screen to answer.

“Yes, Holden blank Edwards?”

“You’re going to laugh at this.” Traffic buzzes in the background, making it difficult to hear him.

“I won’t laugh at your middle name.

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