American Journeys by Don Watson

Author:Don Watson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Random House Australia
Published: 2008-11-14T16:00:00+00:00

‘Did you think you had educated the superstition out of these people?’

‘I certainly did think it.’

‘Well, then, you may unthink it.’

Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

IN A CHURCH THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HAD BEEN DECORATED for a debutantes’ ball, with golden columns and a mighty red and gold velvet crown, the Rock Trio strummed their banjos and sang: ‘We’ll soon be on the other side and see the face of Jesus.’ I turned it off. From the next room I heard a preacher on another channel: ‘The gentle mother comes to him and says, “My daughter is grievously vexed with the devil.”’ It was eight am on New Year’s Day in Chattanooga. ‘And Jesus,’ the preacher said – and paused. ‘Jesus said, “The children must come first.”’

All in their pyjamas, or in combinations of sweaters and sleepwear, smiling and smelling of talcum and sleep, a family of six crowded into the lift, on their way to the free continental breakfast downstairs. The television in the breakfast room had the preacher too: ‘A seven-year-old schoolgirl …’ he said in a theatrical hush. ‘She cannot bring that name into school because of the so-called separation of church and state.’ Here another well-practised pause, and loud microphone breathing, then: ‘Talk about Buddha all you like. Talk about Mohammed all you like. But you can’t mention’ – he paused again, till they were craving the name – ‘Jesus Christ.’

The congregation murmured their protests.

‘Enough is enough!’

They cheered.

‘I’m gonna say it,’ this preacher said, as if he might be burned alive by liberals for the heresy. And did he say it: ‘This nation was founded on the word of Almighty God!’

His audience cheered and shouted hallelujah.

‘This nation is a Christian nation! It is not a Moslem nation!’

That brought the house down.

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