After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield

Author:Jack Kornfield [Jack Kornfield]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ebury Publishing
Published: 2000-06-21T23:00:00+00:00

Not Including Our Full Humanity

The denial of ordinary human longings is a form of idealization so prevalent in spiritual traditions worldwide that it requires looking at in its own right. Certain spiritual traditions, both Eastern and Western, teach that it is best not to have any personal needs or desires. This ideal of otherworldly perfection does not recognize the value in ordinary relationships and needs, and denies that spiritual beings might benefit by having any life outside their narrow religious roles. This ideal expects teachers, abbots, and masters to be above the world, to maintain a saintly simplicity and ascetic purity.

While choosing simplicity is of great value, the practices of an ascetic life must be distinguished from denial. Asceticism on its own is the conscious choice of a path of simplicity. Simplicity of diet, dress, and action can be a deliberate way to learn inner renunciation and free oneself from the external pulls of the world. Celibacy too can be chosen as an expression of renunciation and simplicity.

By stepping outside the sphere of sexual and paired relationships, the nun, priest, or monk enters a way of life that can be devoted entirely to prayer, service, and the community. In such a context, the deliberate path of celibacy and asceticism can be both valid and valuable. One sign of a healthy purity is this: The person taking this role has not simply suppressed his or her needs or denied that they exist. Instead, Eros, human intimacy, and the full range of emotions are acknowledged and included in a rich spiritual life.

The problem comes when denial of our humanity is built into our spiritual view. For students this means cutting themselves off in a puritanical or fearful way from their own experience. For teachers, too, the prolonged expectations of selfless or sinless purity can translate into repression or ignorance of their own shadow.

For spiritual leaders caught up in such false idealization, human needs, sexuality, grief, and vulnerability often simply go unacknowledged. These idealistic spiritual systems offer little instruction or real help in how to work with these realities. Yet, no matter how pure and exalted the state, our ignored humanity will return, and whatever unmet needs we have will reappear. Icarus’s body has human weight; Mara graciously comes back to pay us a regular visit.

If the needs of body and humanity are not acknowledged, they can be demonized and projected onto others, fueling paranoia, witch-hunts, inquisitions. The community will live in fear of many aspects of life. One Catholic abbess widely regarded for her wisdom and holiness founded a contemplative community several decades ago. She knew that her nuns and postulants needed to attend to the energies of their bodies and emotions. Yet she was punished for this. The church authorities abruptly closed down the abbey after hearing rumors of “other practices” such as meditation, breath work, and personal therapy being used to complement the daily rounds of prayer and sacred silence. She said, “I cannot believe how our community was treated for including breath and body in what is sacred.

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