Adams vs. God by Phillip Adams;

Author:Phillip, Adams;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Melbourne University Publishing

Kung is mounting the same pernicious argument that one hears in relation to contraception. We are told that we should change the rules because too many Catholics are ignoring them by taking the pill anyway. But no. Let us remain intractable. Let us remain remote from human reality. Those priests who resign, those couples who transgress are best forgotten. Obviously they were not very good Catholics anyway.

The Catholic Church will stand or fall on the issue of sexuality. It is the tut-tut penis and the tsk-tsk vagina, not godless atheism, that threaten survival. For oddly enough, both Moscow and Peking echo our disapproval of sexual licence.

Frankly, I am in favour of making standards even more rigid and inflexible. A few years back I noticed with approval how nuns were measuring the length of dresses outside St Peter’s, refusing admission to even 11-year-old girls whose knees were naked, and I think we should return immediately to this sort of moral inflexibility, and to the sort of sex education so vividly described in Schepisi’s Devil’s Playground and in Louise Zaetta’s instructive text. And let us tell our Catholic menfolk that they will be treated in exactly the same way as classical statues if they engage in genital transgression. Just as the Inquisition had its hit men, the hierarchy could establish a squad armed with secateurs. As Dame Edna Everage once observed while cutting the stems on a bunch of gladdies, ‘The only trouble with circumcision is that they don’t take it far enough’.

Incidentally, the Pope’s encyclical on contraception teaches that artificial means are wrong and calls on the ‘rulers of States’ not to allow it for anyone. Quite right too. In this way the Catholic Church can enforce the moral uplift of Protestants, agnostics and Jews whose own leaders are so clearly derelict in their duty.

I said at the onset that, left to themselves, people would tend to regard sex in a rather matter-of-fact, good-natured way, as they do other natural phenomena such as rain, wind and springtime. Well, a terrible thought has just occurred to me. Could it be that, after 2000 years, Catholic teachings on matters venereal are seen as a joke? We know that the Church has survived many a military and ideological onslaught, but there is no way it could survive being laughed at.

Yours sincerely,

Phillip Adams

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