Accept Nothing Less: God's Best for Your Body, Mind, and Heart by Jim Burns

Author:Jim Burns
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2008-09-30T16:00:00+00:00

Remember That Dating Is Preparation for Marriage

Not every person you date will be someone you would want to marry, but most of the people you date will become someone’s marriage partner. That’s why dating is good preparation for marriage. I think you should treat each date as a special date. By dating, you can learn a lot about the kind of person you would like to marry. As you date different people, you will get a better view of what you want in a wife or husband.

At times it frightens me when two people who have dated only each other plan to get married. Most people need to experience a variety of relationships before they settle down for that one special lifelong relationship. Listen to what a friend of mine told me recently: “I knew I loved Karen, but I never realized how much until one summer in college when we decided to date others. And, you know, that time really helped me see what it was I liked about Karen, and it only convinced me more that I was in love with her.”

Another real benefit of dating is that you get a better idea of how you relate to the opposite sex in various situations. It can teach you some important things about yourself and about getting along with another person. And these lessons will help you be more sensitive and act more appropriately when you are ready to settle down and get married.

One last thought before we move on. Because each person you date is created by God and loved by our Lord, you should treat him or her with the same respect, dignity, and kindness you want to receive from others.

Avoid Getting Too Close Too Soon

Several years ago my friend Mike Yaconelli gave me something to think about. He’d spent many years working with young people and seemed to understand them better than most anyone I know. He said, “Today it seems that too many kids take breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend way too hard. Their grief is almost as if they were married and going through a divorce.” He then made this crushing statement: “I think it’s because too many young people are having sex so soon after they meet that they are dealing with a deeper kind of intimacy than young people were even a few years ago.”

You know what? Mike was—and still is—right. Kids are becoming intimate so soon in their relationships that it is taking a terrible toll on their emotional health. Consider the following scenario.

Tim and Sara like each other. In fact, they think they love each other. They hadn’t meant to get so deeply involved physically, but they have. Call it curiosity, lust, sex drive, or just enjoying each other’s touch. Whatever you call it, now they’re in trouble. They’ve been intimate, but neither one is emotionally able to handle the deep commitment that goes with physical intimacy. The relationship begins to deteriorate until finally they break it off. It’s too bad, because they might have become a great couple.

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