A Funny Place to Hold a War by Max Hennessy

Author:Max Hennessy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canelo Digital Publishing Limited
Published: 2022-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

The following morning, Colonel Cazalet, of Security, appeared outside Mackintosh’s door while he was discussing the latest disaster with Molyneux. He was immaculately dressed and looked so cool, so distant from disaster, Molyneux found himself wondering resentfully how the hell he did it.

‘Hear you’ve been havin’ a bit of trouble,’ he said. ‘Aeroplanes and all that.’

Molyneux looked at Mackintosh.

‘How did you know?’ Mackintosh demanded.

‘My job to know,’ Cazalet said. ‘Quite a casualty list, isn’t it?’

They admitted it was. ‘This bloody place seems to be accident-prone,’ Mackintosh growled.

Cazalet blinked. ‘If they are accidents,’ he said.

Mackintosh scowled. ‘And what precisely do you mean by that?’ he growled.

Cazalet blinked again. ‘Thought of sabotage?’ he asked.

‘Should we?’

‘Might be a good idea.’

Mackintosh’s eyes narrowed. He had an Australian’s dislike for languid Englishmen and Cazalet seemed to have a gift for not saying everything that was in his mind.

‘What are you getting at, sport?’ he demanded brusquely.

Cazalet wasn’t the slightest bit put out by his tone. ‘Remember that strip cartoon before the war?’ he asked. ‘Kids’ thing: Pip, Squeak and Wilfred. Chap in it went around planting bombs.’

‘You think it might be bombs?’

Cazalet smiled. ‘Not that sort, of course. They were round like a cannon ball with a fuse sendin’ off sparks. I’m thinking of a small charge placed where it might do a lot of damage. A Catalina’s wing’s got quite an overhang aft of the pylon.’

‘You’ve done your homework,’ Molyneux growled.

Cazalet shrugged. ‘Good place to put it,’ he said. ‘Wouldn’t be spotted and it’s close to the petrol tanks and the fuel feed lines.’

‘You think my Sunderlands were done that way?’ Mackintosh asked.

Cazalet shrugged. ‘Can’t tell. Probably something a bit cleverer, because yours were later and you’ve been taking precautions.’

‘Nice of you to say so. You jokers down at headquarters must be bloody busy working out conclusions like that.’

Cazalet held up his hand in protest. ‘Just my job, that’s all. Been makin’ a few inquiries for some time. Something was probably attached to them.’

‘It wouldn’t be magnetic. Magnets don’t stick to aluminium.’

‘Other things do.’

‘The bastard who did M-Mother would have had to get away pretty smartly.’ Mackintosh’s temper was still working on a short fuse.

‘No problem at all,’ Cazalet said. ‘Such a thing as time pencils. Tube with acid in. Acid eats away the wire that sets off the detonator. Gives a chap time to get clear. Developed by the soft-shoe boys who go ashore in enemy territory. Italians used them when they fixed charges underneath Queen Elizabeth and Valiant in Alexandria harbour. They’d actually picked ’em up from the water and put ’em ashore when the charges went off.’

‘I hadn’t heard of that.’

‘You wouldn’t have, would you? Not many people did, because they compensated the list in Queen Elizabeth by flooding the opposite compartments so that any German aircraft that came for a look-see would report her still upright, and the admiral went on living on board as if nothing had happened. Even had a photograph taken of the hoisting of

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