A Fool's Guide to Actual Happiness by Mark Van Buren

Author:Mark Van Buren
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Wisdom Publications

ATTACHMENT AND AVERSION

The teachings on shenpa are so beneficial because they point to the fact that your thoughts and emotions, in and of themselves, are not the real issue. What a relief! The problem lies only in your attachment or aversion to them. The more you attach to something, the more you suffer. On the other hand, the more you run away or try to avoid something, the more you will also suffer. Let’s investigate this.

When it comes to attachment or aversion, you are generally caught in what Buddhists call the eight worldly concerns. According to the Buddhist tradition, the eight worldly concerns are a major source of your suffering. They are grouped into four pairs of opposites:

• The hope for happiness and the fear of suffering

• The hope for fame and the fear of insignificance

• The hope for praise and the fear of blame

• The hope for gain and the fear of loss

Happiness, fame, praise, and gain are typically associated with attachment because these positive experiences can bring you pleasurable sensations and thoughts. With both of these comes an intense craving for these sensations to last longer or become more intense. As previously mentioned, all of us want to be happy and no one wants to experience suffering. Living this way may have been a useful characteristic for our ancestors’ survival, but it has actually now become a main reason for why we suffer. Because of this underlying desire of always wanting to be happy while avoiding suffering, we desperately try to hold on to pleasant experiences. We just love that damn warm puppy! Not only do we try to grasp on to and continue these pleasant experiences, but we also constantly crave more of them. This method to happiness will only increase your suffering. Remember, if your happiness is based on worldly possessions, emotions, or states of mind, you will never be able to pin it down, since all of those things are constantly flowing and changing. It’s like trying to pin down a butterfly with the hope that you will somehow forever catch its beauty. After a few days of its being pinned up on your wall, you’ll find that your beautiful butterfly will turn out to be only a rotting, dead bug. Once things don’t go according to your plan, or once the good feelings start to fade or change, you will see the suffering of your attachment.

On the other hand, suffering — feelings of insignificance, blame, and loss — produces instant negative sensations and thoughts, which, when faced, create a determination to evade, escape, or reject the experience. Have you ever heard that whatever you try to get rid of you will get more of? Well, in a really important way, it’s true. If you try to get rid of all the suffering in your life, it will only cause you more suffering. As discussed earlier, some suffering is inevitable and can be avoided for only so long, but your aversion to suffering only makes it worse.

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