A Dreadful Splendour by B.R. Myers

Author:B.R. Myers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada
Published: 2022-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirty-Five

Lady Audra Linwood

Diary Entry

SOMERSET PARK, FEBRUARY 27, 1852

Dearest,

My heart is broken, and yet it still beats. Father is dead. I was not there with him. I am too ashamed to write what I was doing and with whom.

In all my time at Somerset, just this one stolen moment of pure and beautiful passion cannot erase all that I’ve done for Father, can it? I pray that his soul will recognize my devotion and grant me forgiveness from heaven.

We buried him in the family crypt next to Mother. I ran my hand over her name and felt as if someone were walking on my grave. Somerset Park will be my home forever, but it might as well be that tomb.

I fear everyone knows my shameful secret. Mr. Pemberton has been more inquisitive than usual, and now it is I who is lying to him. My love has left the manor and my life. I am racked with savage sobs that the staff assume are for Father.

I am in mourning, Dearest—for the loss of my true love. He attended the funeral, and all he could give me was a stiff bow over my hand. Still, the touch between us, even through my glove, was enough to kindle the fire inside me.

I must find a way to go on with only the memory of our stolen night together. It is a curse to have loved so fiercely and so passionately. Everything else pales in comparison; my life will be a cruel void of emptiness. I must be vigilant, though, for Mr. Pemberton watches me like a hawk.

He has chosen to become interested in the preparations for our wedding. He is always arriving when I least expect him, and he asks such probing questions: how I spent my day, where I went, who I was with. There can be only one reason for his increased curiosity. He suspects I have given my heart to someone else!

I try to answer politely, but his gaze is like steel, hard and unyielding. I used to think his eyes were beautiful, but now they only remind me of the coldest ocean storm. A storm I will be forced to sail the rest of my life. I have an unwavering fear that I will drown in those eyes someday.

I wish he’d never come to Somerset.

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