Wise Men and Other Stories by Mike O'Mary
Author:Mike O'Mary [O'Mary, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Anthology, Christmas, Fiction, Holiday, Humor, Retail
Publisher: Dream of Things
Published: 2013-12-05T05:00:00+00:00
The Difference Between Men and Women
My sister called me for advice. She said “hello” to a guy at work, and now he keeps pestering her for a date. “I was just being friendly,” she said.
“That’s the difference between men and women,” I told her. “Women are friendly; men are obsessed.”
I hate to sound so cynical, but it’s true. Many otherwise intelligent and worldly women don’t seem to understand that if you make eye contact with a guy, he thinks you want to sleep with him. If you smile at him, he thinks you really want to sleep with him. And if you actually talk to him or laugh at one of his jokes... you don’t want to know what he’s thinking.
It might sound like you’re just telling him that you want to use the copier. Or that he has mustard on his chin. Or maybe you’re just a nice person who believes in saying “hello” to people when you see them. It doesn’t matter. No matter how innocent your comment might seem to you, the guy will automatically analyze the encounter in terms of where you stand on the scale of desire to sleep with him.
Unfortunately, none of us are above this sort of thinking. I pride myself on being aware of this difference between men and women, yet when a coworker smiled at me recently, I sensed her desire and made a mental note to stay away from her in the future. I don’t need that kind of trouble.
None of this is meant to imply that men should change. That’s a moot point anyway. We fear change and are, for the most part, incapable of it. Nor should women change. But the next time you see a guy, you might want to start off with this disclaimer: “In no way does what I’m about to say imply that I have any desire whatsoever to sleep with you. I’m just being friendly.” After that, it should be safe to go ahead and say “hello.” He may still think you want to sleep with him, but he’ll be so confused that you might actually be able to have a normal conversation while you’re waiting to use the copier.
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