Trouble on Paradise by Craig Alanson

Author:Craig Alanson
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2017-03-21T22:00:00+00:00

“Good! That’s good, Nert, you got it. That was perfect,” Jesse praised their new liaison officer.

“Thank you, Specialist Colter,” Nert said, beaming a buck-toothed smile with pride.

“Nert, call me Jesse,” he offered. That was less awkward than ‘Specialist Colter’ and would hopefully prevent Dave from suggesting the Ruhar refer to him as ‘Cornpone’. Jesse didn’t mind his team using that nickname, but he didn’t like it for general usage.

“Call me Dave,” Ski agreed. “Hey, Nert, now we’ll show you how to offer a gesture of praise, for people who have done a particularly good job.”

Nert tilted his head, listening intently to the translation through his earpiece. “People who have performed a task with notable effort or skill?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dave looked at Jesse. Nert sounded like a nerd partly because the translator made everyone’s language awkward. “Now, look, you hold your left arm in front of you like this, no, don’t hug it to your chest. Hold it away from you a bit. Then you bring your right arm up, with your hand outside your left forearm, right! Pump your right fist up and down, that’s it,” Dave struggled to keep a straight face as Nert happily performed an ‘up yours’ gesture. “Uh huh. Up and down like that, when you do it like that, you are showing your enthusiasm for the good job someone did.”

Jesse broke into a coughing fit, to mask the laughter he could no longer contain.

“Thank you, Dave and Jesse,” Nert said with the slight nod and bow the Ruhar used to express gratefulness. A group of three humans were crossing between hangars fifty meters away; Nert called out to them. “Hello!” He shouted without using the translator, and grinned as he used the friendly gesture he had just learned. “Good job!”

“What the hell?” One of the three guys stared at Nert. Jesse held up his hands, and Dave took a step away from Nert, twirling finger near his head to indicate Nert was crazy. “Hey!” The guy shouted back, returning the gesture. “Up yours too, buddy!”

“Thank you!” Nert kept pumping his fist up and down. “Good job!”

“Ok, Ok, that’s enough for now, Nert. You don’t want to overdo it,” Jesse advised, gently pushing the alien’s fist downward. Dave was almost doubled over, convulsed with laughter.

“I understand,” Nert said happily. “What else can I-” Just then, Perkins came around the side of the Buzzard, with Shauna right behind her. Nert’s face lit up. “Major Perkins! Good job-”

“NOOOO!” Dave and Jesse almost tackled Nert in their haste to stop him from giving his newly-learned gesture to their commanding officer.

Perkins stopped short. “What is going on here?”

“Uh, Ma’am, uh,” Dave stammered, “we were, um,” he shot a pleading look at Jesse who was of no help at all, “comparing interspecies methods of communication?” It sounded completely lame even to him.

“Uh huh,” Perkins said slowly, not convinced.

“Did I do something wrong?” Nert asked unhappily.

“No, Nert, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jesse assured their liaison officer. “You don’t, uh, we don’t use that salute with officers.

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