The Well-Armored Child by Joelle Casteix

Author:Joelle Casteix
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781632990402
Publisher: River Grove Books
Published: 2015-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Lesson #2: Use Correct Names for Body Parts

One of the easiest and best things you can do is teach your toddler the correct names of body parts. To some, this may seem a little odd. When I was a child, we didn’t use words like penis or vagina—if we did, we usually got in trouble for it. Until somewhat recently, the true terms for human genitalia were used exclusively to talk about sex or in the medical realm. Growing up in past generations, we thought that they were “loaded” words, so we dumbed down our body parts and minimized their importance by using words like wee-wee or hoo-hoo. But we need to remember that our bodies should never be minimized and that these biological terms are correct and accurate.

This is important for a number of reasons. First, when you minimize something, it’s not lost on your child. Kids are smart. They know that when you call something by a play name, then it’s a plaything and not something important. But if you call something by a serious, “adult-sounding” name, your child is going to know that you mean business!

Children may not have highly honed reasoning or logic skills, but they instantly pick up on your language cues. Be vigilant. Our bodies are wonderful, but they are serious, and we shouldn’t devalue them.

Second, using the correct names allows children to own their body parts, speak about them properly without shame, and draw appropriate boundaries with other kids and adults. Not only does this help protect against abuse, but it also helps on trips to the doctor, in playground accidents, and during “The Talk” ten years from now.

Remember, teaching the proper names of body parts does not mean that you should talk about sex with your preschool-aged child. Toddlers and preschoolers are way too young for any discussion of sex, even if they have walked in on you and your partner in the middle of a romantic interlude. With this age group, we are talking about body parts, not sexuality. Your son does not need to know what his penis will be used for later in life, and he will not ask. Your daughter does not need to know about the function of her vagina, but she does need to know its proper name and why she wipes herself to keep her vagina clean.

Once your child has the right names for body parts, he or she may start asking questions. Embrace these questions, and answer them as honestly and age-appropriately as you can. A girl with younger siblings may find out that a vagina is where a baby comes out of a mommy, but that’s about the extent of what a child needs to know. And honestly, she will probably get distracted within seconds of you explaining it to her. But don’t shut these questions down. Answer them as best you can and without shame.

Once you teach the proper names of parts and encourage questions, your child will probably come to you when he sees bumps, marks, or other things on his body that he didn’t notice before.

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