The Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice-Cream God (Loyola Classics) by John R. Powers

Author:John R. Powers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2009-02-21T05:32:00+00:00

THIRTY

Dear God:

I am the world's greatest lover.

Signed: Conroy

Conroy:

No, you're not. I am. I've made everybody.

Signed: God

THIRTY-ONE

Standing just inside the main doors of Engrim, watching Weatherly as he tried to cross the street, which was immersed in morning rush-hour traffic. Rain was battering the street. At last, there was a break in the traffic and Weatherly, his one arm wrapped around his books, and his head hanging low to avoid the rain, began jogging across the street. A cab that had just gone by Weatherly made a sharp U-turn. Weatherly almost ran into it. He yelled something at the cabdriver while simultaneously throwing up his hand and giving the driver the finger. The cabdriver who, by now, had driven a few dozen feet past the school, braked the cab, rolled down the window, and bellowed an obscenity at Weatherly. He responded by dropping his books on the rain-soaked street and thrusting out both arms, the middle finger standing high on each hand. The cabdriver, realizing that he was getting drenched by the blowing rain, rolled up the window as he yelled one final epithet at Weatherly and sped off.

The brief encounter had managed to tie up traffic in both directions. Dozens of horns were honking at Weatherly to get out of the middle of the street. Drenched, with rain even running off his ears, Weatherly calmly picked his books up off the street's center line and walked toward the front doors of the school. Engrim University has never bothered to offer a course in urban studies.

A few minutes later, we were sitting in the cafeteria and Weatherly was drinking coffee.

Even though it was still early in the morning, the cafeteria was mobbed. Since Engrim University was located in a heavy business district, it felt obligated to its students to set up barriers to discourage outsiders from using the cafeteria. Therefore, the prices were jacked up, the food was slop, and there was one chair for every five students. Engrim didn't have an orientation week for its new students. It simply ushered them into the cafeteria and told them to sit down. There was bound to be someone of interest on the same chair.

Weatherly was still wet and shivering from the rain. His hands huddled around his coffee cup for warmth. "You know what I'd do if I was in charge of things?" said Weatherly.

"No, what?"

"I'd have a pedestrian in each city that had life and death powers over every driver. Nobody would know who he was. So every time a driver got the temptation to give a pedestrian a hard time, he'd never know whether that was the pedestrian who could have him executed."

"Yeah," I countered, "but some people walking around really ask for it."

"Fine. So give one driver in the city the same life and death power. If a pedestrian steps right in front of him, that driver can run him over, no questions asked."

"Sounds like there'd be a lot of dead people lying around," I said.

"You know how many people in this city got run over by cars last year?"

"No.

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