The Terrible Two by Mac Barnett

Author:Mac Barnett
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Amulet Books
Published: 2014-11-17T05:00:00+00:00

Miles didn’t know what Niles’s signature looked like, and so his masterstroke was that illegible scrawl at the bottom of the paper. And now here was Niles, his size-small gym clothes at least two sizes too big, loping over with a plastic hockey stick under his arm.

“Want to partner up?” Niles asked.

Miles shrugged. “I don’t have a stick.”

“That wasn’t what I meant. Have you given more thought to the pranking partnership?” Niles checked to make sure nobody was within earshot. “The Terrible Two?”

“Oh, that,” said Miles. “What’s the matter? Regretting starting this prank war with me?”

“You started the prank war.”

“Whatever. You know what, Niles? It sounds to me like you’re scared. It sounds like you’re thinking it would be better to have me close instead of out in the wild, dreaming up stunning and masterful pranks.”

Miles checked the door to the gym. Now would be the perfect time for Barkin to show up.

But Barkin didn’t show up.

Instead, Niles reached into the pocket of his gym shorts and pulled out an envelope.

Not an envelope.

The envelope.

For the first time in today’s P.E. class, Miles felt out of breath. “Where’d you get that?”

Niles gave a matter-of-fact shrug. “I sort and deliver Principal Barkin’s mail—it’s one of the duties of the School Helper. As you can probably imagine, I was surprised to find a letter from myself in Barkin’s mailbox. So I steamed it open over the electric teakettle and found your confession.”

“Amazing,” Miles said, in spite of himself.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Miles! If you never yak and keep a low profile, you’re above suspicion. And if you’re above suspicion, you can get access to the inner workings of the whole school. I’ve worked my way into a place where I can execute spectacular pranks.” He paused, then added, “And foil underwhelming almost-pranks.”

“What do you mean ‘almost-pranks’?”

“This wasn’t a prank.”

“Of course it was a prank!”

“No. This was just ratting me out for a prank I committed. That’s not a prank. It’s just a jerk move. And a violation of the Prankster’s Oath.”

“I’ve never heard of any Prankster’s Oath.”

“Of course you haven’t,” said Niles. “But if you join the Terrible Two—”

“Nope! No way. I’m not going to join your dumb club just to learn some phony oath you probably made up. I’m a born prankster! Prankster blood pumps through my prankster heart!”

Niles sighed. “So the war is still on?”

“The war is still on.”

“OK.” Niles held the envelope out in front of him. “Take a closer look.”

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