The Practicing Stoic by Ward Farnsworth

Author:Ward Farnsworth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: David R. Godine, Publisher
Published: 2018-11-23T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seven

WHAT OTHERS THINK

This chapter considers the Stoic way of looking at approval and criticism – that is, what others think. The approval may be the immediate kind that we call praise or the collective type known as fame; the criticism may be insult or infamy. This chapter can also be considered a Stoic examination of vanity and pride, for these all are externals of a common family. They involve social life: the desire for status within it and for the good opinion of others. Most people seek those things as intently as they chase money or pleasure, and work just as hard to avoid the loss of them.

The first rule of this branch of Stoic teaching is contempt for conformity, for the opinion of the majority, for the habit of looking to others when thinking about what to prefer and how to act. The problem runs deep. A large share of what most people say, think, and do is a product of convention. Its force is hard to resist because getting in line with what others expect causes them to think well of us. Deviating from it tends to be punished swiftly by others who are more comfortable saying, doing, and enforcing what is expected. Much of Stoicism is the effort to see the truth and act on it, and to learn a noble contempt for the consequences that follow.

Turning to details, then, the Stoics regard the appetite for praise as one of the mainsprings of conformity in particular and human behavior in general. They set out to tame it. They start by asking why we care what others say and think about us, especially when the others are people we probably do not hold in notably high esteem. The Stoic develops a distrust for popular judgments, and a suspicion of people and things that have mass appeal. Stoicism tries instead to substitute a greater respect for one’s own opinions, and practice at valuing things for what they are rather than for what anyone else thinks about them.

The other side of our topic is criticism and insult. Of course the Stoic urges indifference to these things. They are externals we can’t control. But the Stoics also offer specific ways to think about attacks and respond to them. One is to regard the contempt of others with contempt (or to regard the others themselves with contempt), or to welcome the contempt when it is earned by doing the right thing. Any of these responses is better than fearing the opinions of others; for once one goes down that road, there is no end to it.

Another family of responses involves humility and forgiveness. Stoics usually can accept insults in good humor by reflecting that any such criticism probably understates their true faults; they are comfortable enough with self-inflicted ridicule to be unconcerned when others add to it. A second recourse is to make an assessment of the criticism. If we are criticized justly, we should accept it and change (or accept it and be done).

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