The Portal by Tom Cronin & Jacqui Fifer

Author:Tom Cronin & Jacqui Fifer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2019-06-02T16:00:00+00:00

‘Stillness lets us reflect, but then, after stillness there is something greater.’

RABBI RONNIE CAHANA

JIM | When you lose everything

JAMES R. DOTY MD, NEUROSURGEON AND NEUROSCIENTIST

When you grow up in poverty and you feel like you have no control, the thing you want the most is money, because you think it gives you control. And you think control gives you happiness. I was desperate to be happy.

As a young kid, I didn’t think that any of that would be possible for me, but I had gone to medical school, become a neurosurgeon, become a successful entrepreneur. I had created wealth and success beyond my wildest imagination ... On paper, I had everything. I was driving a Ferrari, I had a penthouse in San Francisco, a villa in Tuscany and I’d just agreed to buy a private island in New Zealand. My investments and share holdings were valued at $75 million. I was divorced by this time and was dating beautiful women, and all my friends were telling me how great I was, yet I would wake up every day miserable—more miserable, in fact, than I had ever been in my entire life.

I have invested in all sorts of businesses over the years and, during the dot-com boom, had invested in some start-ups. All of a sudden, the stock market was crashing and people were frantic. People were losing millions; the dot-com bubble was bursting. My net worth had plummeted and, after going through all my financial statements, I had to accept it: the $75 million was gone. Not only was it gone, but due to lines of credit based on stock valuations, I was now $3 million in debt and bankrupt.

I lost everything.

The interesting thing about when you have ‘everything’—i.e. money and success—is that you have many friends. People actually listen to you whether you deserve to be listened to or not. Then, when you lose everything, many of those people disappear. So I had this incredible trajectory of my life of creating success and thinking that it was all about me and that I deserved it, and I was so great. Then suddenly, I was sitting alone with nothing and no one.

What surprised me was that instead of it feeling like my darkest hour, it actually became a period of great reflection, something I realised I had never done before. Convinced I had missed something, I went back to the beginning, over all the lessons Ruth had taught me. She was the one who had shown me all these methods, or tricks, to master the body and the mind, made me realise my potential and how I could create a successful life for myself, not one based on my past or my family. I remembered I had actually made a list of my goals during my interactions with her. I found the list and it read, ‘I want to go to college. I want to become a doctor. I want to be a millionaire. I want to have a Rolex. I want to drive a Porsche,’ et cetera.

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