The Good Wife's Guide to Taking Charge: A Female-Led-Relationship Primer by Rebecca Lawson

Author:Rebecca Lawson [Lawson, Rebecca]
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: Paddington House Press
Published: 2016-05-27T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six: Humiliation

As a fiction writer, I feel as if I have a unique perspective on the mindset of those men who desire a dominant female. With all of the statistics and numbers provided, it is as if the self-publishing world is a microcosm of the FLR lifestyle. (Please note, I do not use the words “kink” or “fetish” here as I believe the desire for female leadership is much more and goes deeper. Yes, sometimes the desire overlaps into those categories, but defining them solely in sexual terms is not accurate, in my opinion.) If a story is straight infraction and discipline, it sells reasonably well. But, if that same story has a healthy dose of humiliation added, then it's even more popular. My husband agrees with the hundreds of readers: humiliation is where it's at. (He gives me pretty good insight into the mindset, too.)

But why? I wish I knew the exact reason. I'm not a psychologist, licensed clinician, or therapist. I have my opinions, and what follows are simply that. While they are just my thoughts, they are based upon feedback I've received first and foremost from my husband, and secondly from readers who have contacted me.

Humiliation is ultimately about total surrender. It is also about the woman (or whoever is acting as the dominant) exerting ultimate control. For the man who craves discipline and female leadership, they want to completely give up their rights and wholeheartedly defer to their wife. Humiliation is the pinnacle of this. It is the husband saying, “I will blindly do whatever you tell me to, even if it is utterly embarrassing.” And, it is the wife saying I will test your levels of submission and your commitment to my leadership by pushing the limits. Again, while this desire is not completely sexual, the act of being humiliated often arouses men. It's fun. It's exciting. It releases a lot of endorphins. It fulfills those submissive desires.

You may be asking, “Hey, what does humiliation have to do with discipline?” Good question. On the surface it may seem like a separate topic that does not belong in a book about DD. But the two are intertwined...for me, at least.

First of all, humiliation often overlaps with punishment. As discussed in the previous chapter, panties and diapers can be effective means of discipline.

Secondly, when practicing humiliation, the submissive partner learns to fully trust their dominant spouse. It also induces an overall mood of submission that helps them obey in other areas. It keeps them in line. Humiliation takes the DD relationship to the next level, serving as an exercise in trust and submission to authority. It can be quite fulfilling for both involved if done correctly.

Let me throw out a warning, though. Be careful to utilize healthy humiliation and not its harmful counterpart. How can humiliation be healthy? Well, if your partner is asking for it, remember first and foremost that they want it. It will fulfill their fantasies. Also, remember it can serve a valuable purpose to further your DD relationship.

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