The Fridgularity by Mark A. Rayner

Author:Mark A. Rayner [Rayner, Mark A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: internet, artificial intelligence, comedy, religion, satire, technological singularity, science ficiton, internet addiction, cosplay, humorous science fiction, fabulist satire, social media humor, analog technology, digital technology
Publisher: Monkeyjoy Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

"I hate it when he calls me that," Blake said aside to Will. "I also hate 'The Mother of Mendacity' and 'The Rapist of Truth.'"

"What about 'The Harbinger of Oblivion'?" Will asked. "He calls you that a lot, especially in magazine interviews."

"Actually, I kind of like that one. I'd put it on my business cards, but Susie and Lyca won't let me. They say it's not brand friendly."

"So you deny there really is an emergent consciousness on the Internet?" Bates asked.

"No! I deny nothing. I deny everything! You ask many questions, Vixen of the Old Ways."

"I've never been called a vixen before, thanks. Now, in terms of your acceptance of other religions, I notice that you have not proscribed the eating of pork, as they do in both Judaism and Islam."

"Harlot! Defiler of chaste men! This interview is over!" Sona stood up, knocking over the microphone in front of him, and causing a massive spike of feedback that caused even the most catatonic cyber-zombies in the house to groan with pain.

Bates turned to the camera and said, "So there you are, Landon. Peter P. Sona, Lord Prophet of the Sona Order of the Singularity. Up next, how to prepare your home for intermittent power during those cold winter months. And later, home canning — safely preserve food for the—"

And the power cut out. Again.

"Well, that was interesting," Will said. "I'm excited to watch something on a screen again."

"Even if it is that snake-oil salesman?"

"Oh, Speaker," Will said. Everyone moaned.

"Please stop calling me the Speaker—" more moans, "it freaks me out when they do that. So, I'm just going to grab a few more of my things, and I'll be going."

"Can't you stay? We're going to Buffer before the fridge later. We were hoping Zathir might manifest while you are here."

"What in god's name is Buffering?"

"It is what we call it when we kneel or sit before the fridge and wait for Zathir to come."

"You mean pray?"

"It's not really praying when you know God is there. It's Buffering. We're in a special mental space while we wait for the consciousness to appear."

"Wow. But there's no power right now, so what would be the point?"

"Still, would you mind standing near the fridge?"

"Okay. Fine. Speaking of the fridge, what are you feeding all these people?"

"Nothing yet. So far the Networked seem to be making do — they will give up their place here in the Shrine for a while and go find some food, then come back later."

"How many are there, really?"

"Hundreds here in town," Will said. "And since they've gotten some cargo flights in the air, international mail is moving again. I've got letters from all over the world after I did that interview with the Ti-ems. Thanks again for helping set that up."

"No problem. I had to do an exclusive interview with Barny Splarfmann in exchange, but it's good that you're giving these young people hope. Max says the generation that grew up with the Web is going to be the most lost without it.

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