The Cow Poo Treasure Hunt by Theo Baker

Author:Theo Baker [Baker, Theo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781406363890
Publisher: Walker Books
Published: 2015-02-18T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TEN

From the pages of Emily Zipzer’s field notebook…

11:30 a.m., 7th May

I arrived at the deli at 08:59, precisely. First impressions: the deli is run inefficiently. They do not keep electronic records, and this leaves both deli and customers operating at a loss.

Example: this morning Papa Pete baked forty-five cranberry muffins and only eight blueberry muffins. An hour after opening, they had sold out of blueberry muffins and had not sold a single cranberry muffin. I mentioned to Papa Pete that if he kept better records, he could establish a predictive model, but he did not hear me out. He said he runs the deli with his “feelings”.

The mother soon arrived. She was late. Hank had, of course, missed his coach, and she had to drive him to camp. He will be tardy to his Survival Camp. Miss Adolf will mark him down for his tardiness.

I hope the lizard’s curse contributed to this. (As a natural scientist, I do not believe in magic, but Hank does. I know he’ll be worrying about the curse. I do regret exploiting Katherine for my vengeance. Perhaps I will let her sleep in bed with me tonight.)

When the mother arrived at the deli, she gave Papa Pete a list of things he should not allow me to do. Papa Pete told her he did not need such a list, and that she was being over-protective. He said he could handle things here and gave the mother the day off.

Papa Pete is a man of “feelings” and not data. He considers himself my ally. I can exploit his “feelings”. I can make him my tool. By hook or by crook, I will control him.

The mother soon noticed me observing and writing these notes. She watches now as I write this. She must wonder if I am writing about her. My notes make her uncomfortable. Clearly, she fears that I will uncover her incompetence. She has made every effort to keep me away from this deli. As a scientist, one must get into the habit of asking why.

Working hypothesis: the mother fears that I am more capable of running the Spicy Salami deli than she and Papa Pete are.

I am in good spirits as I write this, and hopeful for what the day will bring. Let this field notebook be a record of my deeds.

Today I plant the first seeds of my empire!

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