The Accidental Diva by Tia Williams

Author:Tia Williams [Williams, Tia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2005-05-03T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

• • •

And that was Yellow.

“What was that all about?”

“Same old thing. He needed cash so I hit him off.”

“But you just got him a job!”

“But he needs it now.”

“For what?”

“To get high.”

“Why’d you give him money to get high?” Billie was outraged. “He’s supposed to be getting back on the right path and everything. ‘Weedhead’ practically equals shiftless! Hello? Haven’t you seen Friday?”

“It ain’t for weed…and stop talking so loud.”

Billie stopped walking. “You didn’t give him money to buy for real drugs.”

Jay looked as if he were about to explain Reaganomics to a small child.

“If I didn’t give it to him, he would do very bad things to get it.”

“Jay…”

“Listen, baby, he’s a junkie. Ain’t nobody gonna stop that man from being a junkie. What I can do is make sure he don’t hurt nobody else in the process.”

“But…but…you of all people know what, like, serious drugs can do to you. He’s gonna end up killing himself, slowly. I don’t understand how you can knowingly contribute to—”

“Billie.” Jay cut her off in a way that made it clear the conversation was sort of over. “No, you don’t understand. You couldn’t. What, you think he don’t know how he’s gonna end up if he don’t stop? There’s a place you get where you don’t give a fuck. He’s there. What, I’m gonna cry and scream like a bitch? He’s a grown-ass man. It don’t work. Trust me. You don’t know nothing about this. I lived this shit, you didn’t.”

Billie was taken aback. “Well, you don’t have to talk to me like that.”

“I’m sorry.” He was. “I mean, I know where you’re coming from. It’s…it’s frustrating.”

Billie was totally aghast. She didn’t understand this way of thinking at all. In a thousand years she would never understand what had just happened. How could he contribute to Andre’s drug problem? And Jay looked so certain, so sure of what he’d just done. For the first time, she fully grasped how fundamentally different their experiences were. What else would they differ on? What if they got married and had kids? She could see it now: her fourteen-year-old son, coming home with his pregnant girlfriend. “But, Mommy, Daddy said I could fuck DeeDee without a condom because I’m a grown-ass man!”

“Stop lookin’ so traumatized,” Jay said, tipping up her chin. “I’m sorry.”

“We’re from totally different planets.”

“True.”

“There are things we’ll never understand about each other.”

“True. We just gotta accept them.” Jay put on a roughneck expression. “The streets made me, ma. Either you with it or you not.”

Billie grinned. “I don’t think I have a choice.” She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. She was over it.

He took her hand and walked with her. The sun was going down.

“Yellow seemed sweet,” Billie managed with difficulty.

Jay chuckled.

“You know, you’re like the godfather over there. You take care of everybody.”

“You can’t choose your family,” he said, shrugging.

Billie was amazed at his nonchalance. And then it became all about her: What did she ever do

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