Summer of Adam Devereaux by Ramisa Raya

Author:Ramisa Raya [Raya, Ramisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: DigiLibraries.com
Published: 2012-01-12T20:14:53+00:00

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I never felt so lonely before.

Even though Adam has no idea I’m Skyla, it still never occurred to me how his presence might affect me. But sitting here with the mot loneliest feeling in the world, I’m beginning to understand for the first time how impossible it all seems. The fact I may hate somebody but still not be able to survive a single minute without having an urge for them near me.

So utterly ridiculous. Which brings me back to another conclusion: I love him.

And for the first time, there’s no doubt in my voice. I do love him, even if it’s not in a romantic way. Caring about somebody so utterly much that it hurts me every time they show signs of hatred. Feeling like my entire chest has been ripped out when they narrow their eyes or bare their teeth at me.

I want Adam back, but not because he was warmer back then. Whatever dangerous secret he’s holding, I have no reason to interfere. And, under all reality, I don’t want the old Adam back. Everything in my mind screams that I must begin to understand this new version, because if I really cared about him, his changes wouldn’t affect me.

This new version is the one I’m supposed to accept. I’m trying –oh, I’m trying so, so hard. Why else am I putting up with him when all I feel like doing is slamming him against the wall and dumping a bowl of cement on his head? And maybe I secretly like this new, colder version. But I can never accept him.

Because he doesn’t love me like the old version did. The old version was so reserved, but when he got agitated, would spill out all his feelings. This new renovation of the previous version? He simply tries to calm me down. So expertise, and I can’t find a single flaw in this newer and “improved” version.

He must love me deep down. I refuse to believe things any other way. But it’s not fair of him to keep me hanging by a thread while he refuses to catch me if I dare to slip. All I need is him to tell me that he loves me, even if not in a romantic way. I just need that aspect of the old Adam back –who loved Skyla even after knowing every little thing about her– and I swear, I wouldn’t need anything else.

These are the thoughts swirling my head as I pick up a loaf of bread and heave it onto the counter. There’s a man behind me, one with sunglasses, whose eyes I cannot see. Dark brown curly hair, tannish skin… he looks so familiar. I have the feeling I recognise those features, and if I could just see his eyes–

“May I help you?” An adolescent girl smiles politely behind the counter. She takes my loaf of bread and stuffs it into the plastic bag. “That’ll be two dollars and five cents, please.”

My hands are trembling as I fish through my purse.

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