Suki and Sam by Lisa Marotta & Dorothy Shaw

Author:Lisa Marotta & Dorothy Shaw
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Doodle and Peck Publishing

Listen carefully to your child’s level of understanding and attend to their questions.

Typical questions: Why did he/she die? Where is my pet now? (This may mean physically or spiritually) Will he/she be alive tomorrow?

Children sometimes assume that bad things are their fault. Reassure your child that death is a natural ending to life and the child did nothing wrong.

Preschool and early elementary aged children sometimes struggle with the concept of the permanence of death. They may expect the pet to be alive tomorrow or living underground. Kindly correct their misunderstanding and be prepared to repeat explanations often depending on the level of confusion.

Older elementary aged children may understand that death is permanent, but can develop anxiety about the death of other family members including parents. Attend to your child’s concern and be honest that death is the ending of life while reassuring that other family members are in good health if this is the case.

Be patient if your child has temporary behavioral regressions at meals, play, and bedtime. These routines become sad reminders of the absence of their pet.

Ceremonies are soothing rituals that can also serve as practice for human funerals. Encourage your child to help plan a simple service that could include playing music, sharing memories, and/or planting a tree.

Drawings and/or photographs may be displayed at a memory table in your home. Your child might also want to add mementos like collars or toys to the special space.

Some children request a new pet right away. It is understandable that they want their difficult feelings to end quickly. Postpone getting a new pet if possible to give your child the opportunity to fully resolve their pet loss and bond appropriately to a new pet. Reassure your child that you will consider adopting a new pet “when the time is right.”

Some children delay grief expression or show extreme grief responses, even in families with open communication and compassionate listening. Common grief complications include multiple prior deaths, traumatic pet death, and stress or mental illness in the family. If you are concerned about your child, please consult a professional for additional support.

Positive and loving experiences during bereavement will help your child now and with future losses which come in many forms—big (beloved family and friends) and small (moving to a new home and/or changing to a different school). I hope Suki and Sam helps your child “draw out” their multicolored feelings of grief.

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