Straight Talk with A Post-Op & A Doc: Firm, Fair & Fun Answers to Your Questions About Living Fully in Recovery from Obesity by Stapleton Connie & De La Cruz Cari

Author:Stapleton, Connie & De La Cruz, Cari [Stapleton, Connie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Unknown
Published: 2014-08-31T16:00:00+00:00

What’s the Big Deal?

Next time someone suggests you are over-reacting to something that happens in the present, (after you get past defending yourself) think to yourself of other times in your life that you felt similarly to how you are feeling about the thing that has you upset in the present. It’s likely you can think of a time (or times) from the past when you felt like you’re feeling now. A possible reason for your present (over)reaction may be due to a cumulative effect of having experienced the same “core issue” at various times in your past.

For example, let’s say your sister-in-law, someone you truly love, has teased you about your short haircut. She’s a good person and doesn’t121 have any malice behind her teasing, but you don’t like it and asked her the last time she did it to please not comment about your short haircut because it hurts your feelings. Several months later, she again makes a passing remark after you just got your hair cut. Rather than saying to her, “I know you don’t mean to hurt my feelings when you talk about my short hair, but I need you to know that I am hurt and now angry because I’ve asked you in the past not to do that. You just did it again and I need you to know that I would really appreciate your not doing that.” THAT would have been appropriate. Instead, you come unglued. You yell at her; you cry; you storm out. When she comes to talk with you about what happened, you realize that when you were a child, your parents always had your hair cut very short and people often mistook you for a boy. Your current, very strong reaction, was tied to the past.

You’ll be amazed at how often it is the case that you are reacting to past issues in the present! Work through your past issues that show up in your present life. You’ll be able to work through potential problems with those close to you much more peacefully !

MENTAL FLOSS

ADDRESSING EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, BOTH PRE- AND POST-OPERATIVELY, CAN 122 MEAN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAINTAINING WEIGHT LOSS OR EXPERIENCING WEIGHT REGAIN FOLLOWING SURGERY.

– CONNIE STAPLETON, PH.D. QUESTION

Q

“ I hate the way I look. I hate the way I feel. I hate being

me. I hear I can’t love other people until I love myself.

I feel like I love my husband, but I can’t seem to be

able to say anything I love about myself. What can I 123 do to learn to love myself so I can love him and others

better?”

THE POST-OP SAYS

W

hen I was obese, I considered myself to be a pretty loving person. I tried to always say and do loving things for my family and friends so they would know that I loved them. I was a pretty good person…except for the fact that I really didn’t like myself. But (to misquote a song): What’s self -love got to do with it? I mean, if no one knew how I felt about me , then things should have been fine with them .

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