Spare by JM Carr

Author:JM Carr
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: JM Carr
Published: 2020-09-12T00:00:00+00:00

twenty four

It’s like Alison can see all over me, every bit. I look away from the mirror and stare out of my window.

We drive past fields and places with pictures of food outside which reminds me how hungry I am. My head is hurting too. I don’t know whether to ask if she has any food but as soon as I think it, Alison says, ‘Vic, get the sandwich box out of the bag. You must be hungry, Dawn?’

Vic rustles the yellow bag and brings out a big plastic box. He pulls the bendy lid off. ‘Want one, Mum?’

‘Ask Dawn first, she’s our guest.’

‘Peanut butter and cucumber,’ says Vic.

I take one of the triangles out of the box and smell the same brown smell that Austen made for me all that time ago but it was only last night. I take a bite, a big one. It tastes good with the green thing inside, not as sticky and easier to speak.

‘Can I have another one?’ My mouth is still full of sandwich.

Vic takes out a bottle of orange liquid; it makes me think of my yellow medicine. The only thing I’ve drunk that tasted good is water. ‘Want some?’ My nose screws up at the thought of it.

‘It’s only orange,’ he says.

I smell the top of the bottle. I thought orange was a colour. I take a sip, it’s sort of sweet and tangy at the same time. ‘I like it.’

‘What, you’ve never had orange before?’

‘She wouldn’t have, would you, Dawn?’ Alison watches me in her mirror. ‘I don’t think a few mouthfuls can hurt, though.’

I carry on drinking. The food and the drink make my head feel a bit better.

There are houses along the road now and other cars are parked outside them. Alison drives more and more slowly.

We drive past a big yellow shop, Bonille yellow with the pretend smiling face next to the word. I know a lot about pretending now. Then more shops, but the only ones that have people going in and out are yellow too. They all have Mr Bonille’s smile on their windows. The other shops are dark and shut.

‘By the beach you say?’

‘Yeah.’

We drive through a road of big houses with boards outside covered in painted writing on. They all look a bit shut up too. Alison turns off the big house road and drives down a little bit of hill and then I see it.

Mrs Goring’s tea towel! I see the beach and the sky and bright coloured pedal boats. And the birds! Great big flappy white pigeons swooping over the green blue sea, people in colourful swimming clothes stretched out all over the yellow sand. They lay on towels or huddle by little stripy screens eating sandwiches. Children dig and splash and run. The beach is noisy, chattery, laughy, and happy.

‘How do I open the window?’

The window slides down like magic. I look round to see how it happened. Alison smiles at me in the mirror.

I stick my head out and breathe in the salty sea air just like Mrs Goring said she did with Mr Goring.

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