Sold in Secret by Karen Downes

Author:Karen Downes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Published: 2018-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

SWEET 16

I felt cheated and angry. To me, the longer Charlene was away, the worse it got. That day, 1st November 2003, was scorched onto my wounded and battered soul. From a mild annoyance that she was staying out late, it had fizzed up into a desperate worry, a screaming panic, a white-hot fear, that consumed every waking and sleeping moment of my life. Where was my daughter? Nobody knew. Nobody even seemed to care. Each milestone after Charlene’s disappearance was a hurdle. I found myself dreading even more Mother’s Days, birthdays and holidays; I didn’t look forward to anything. Occasionally, Mum would arrange to take me back to Coventry for a few days, to stay with friends. I didn’t really like going away – it was silly, but I felt that if I was in the house, Charlene was more likely to come home. If her bed was left empty, and her window was unmanned, she might never come.

‘It’s just for two days,’ Mum persuaded me. ‘Bob’s in the house, and Becki and Emma are not far away. They’ll let us know if anything happens.’

Charlene was on my mind, all the time. There was no escape, nor did I want one. As her 16th birthday approached, I viewed it with a growing sense of both panic and excitement. I couldn’t begin to think how I could get through such an important day without her there and yet part of me felt that this might be the day she came home too. And so, whilst I dreaded her birthday, I couldn’t wait for it either. I went off to Asda and asked them to make a birthday cake with her photo on the top.

‘It’s for my daughter,’ I told them. ‘She’s going to be 16.’

By now, Charlene’s face was well known in Blackpool. But the bakers were interested only in getting through their shift and doing their job. Nobody recognised her – or admitted they did. And I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure whether I might be seen as crazy, buying a cake for a child who wasn’t there. But what else could I do? What kind of parent would ignore their child’s birthday? On the day itself I laid out the cake with a fancy tablecloth. I had bought a 16th card and put some money inside. I blew up balloons and Bob hung a ‘Happy 16th Birthday!’ banner. Emma and Becki came, and Robert was even allowed home for a short visit.

‘Is she coming?’ he asked me excitedly, as he ran in through the door.

He had made her a card himself and as he put it down on the table, my eyes swam with tears. I hesitated – I didn’t know what to tell him, I didn’t want to make him cry. That whole afternoon, I sat by the window until I could physically bear it no longer. Looking out onto the empty street, my heart leaping and plummeting with every new stranger who came into view, was torturous.

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